22nd feb 2019

I'm at home in Sheffield.

I've peed into a pint glass and my urine is cloudy with sperm. I've left the glass on the shelf.

my mum and dad come into the room to tidy and they move it onto the piano. I'm suddenly nervous they will find out what it is and what I've been up to.

I try to find a moment to remove it and Chuck it out doors, but there's never a free moment when I won't make myself look suspicious. perhaps they already know.

I have a few drinks that my dad offers me, and immediately I'm losing control and stumbling over things. the last thing I want to do is spill this.

eventually I see a gap where I can get outside.I throw it into the front garden.

my dad comes out. I tell him I wanted to see what the weather will be like. I ask him how his last few days were. he tells me that he went to see Shakespeare at the Bristol theatre with the turners, and he tells me it was really bizarre but also brilliant.