Shooting the target

Mrs stashek. She is giving lessons to each of us individually, based on the observations of our behaviours over the last trials.

My next lesson is to work on my sexual prowess, and the sadness related to my lack of it.

I deny the sadness, or at least say it's the wrong word, because I know that to dwell on it does not help me. Because I claim that the real cause of my sadness is lack of sunshine. But deep down I know I am trying to cover something up and this is partly because everyone is being a witness to my task.

I am with J. The thin girl with black hair. We know that we are going to get together the question is how. We lie next to one another talking. She has pain in her, which I try to help with some massage. I have to straighten her out. I have to do things properly. But the issues around boundaries are still there, and it's confusing me the relationship between healer and lover.

I am in the park. I have to do some trial shooting with this new automatic gun I have been given by the spirit medium. He shows me the target. I struggle to make the shots because it feels wrong on some level. But then I turn out to be hypocritical because I end up shooting this dog or something else which I should not have shot. I realise it's OK to shoot the target.