"It's to make the brainwashing go deep!"

I'm with a new running group. It formed through a group of friends. I have been going out running with them for the past few weeks. We got into allot of trouble. Here is how...

One day, while out running, one of my friends decides to take a new route. We have never been down this route before. It's not marked on the map. In fact, that area of the map has been left intentionally blank. What the heck, let's try it out we decide. On running down it, we fail to notice the private property signs.

As we continue down, the road gets tricky. We come to lots of mud, and then a cliff. There's a route down the cliff, and some houses at the bottom. One ambitious friend says it will get easier when we get to the houses, so we continue on, down the little cliff path.

I need to explain a little. One of the boys on the running group has a health problem. He has an issue with his heart. He has to be very careful not to over excite or stress his heart unnecessarily.

One of my friends happens to be very prone to getting carried away with things. He enjoys the thrill of excitement so much that he is addicted to the adrenaline that it gives him, which puts his heart under such stress. When we get to the houses the police are waiting for us. We see the cars ahead, not fully realising that they are waiting for us. When we get closer the police come out of the car towards us, and my friend with the poor heart, decides it will be more fun to run away from them.

We get carried away with his antics and run off into the forest. Needless to say, the police call more cars to meet us at the other side of the forest. Because we ran away, they arrest the lot of us. 

Back in the police station we are all asked to empty our pockets. I am the first to empty my pockets. I have a bag of Marijuana on me. "What's this?" The policeman asks condescendingly, "a bit of the old weed?" "Yes" I say, "only the finest home grown organic." I am not daunted by the policeman. I am direct to his face. I know the laws and will not be intimidated by him. "Well I'll have that off you." He slips in to his pocket.

"Any more drugs in this circle? Crack? Brown? White? Ecstasy?" One of my friends panics. "oh, err, yes" he fumbles in his pockets, "I've got this."

A test tube emerges. It gets passed to the front. "so what have we hear? Some brown powder!?"

"It's tobacco seeds". My friend is honest with them. I back him up.

"Yes, you've got the economy in your hands right there." My friends chuckle. " This plant is banned because of its taxable value to governments.  Back at home I've gota massive bag of up to ten thousand seeds." My confidence annoys the police officer, but he realises that he's not pinned the drug barons that he was hoping to pin. They are going to have to let us off.

"First we must make you watch this video", they say.

We get sat in a cinema like place but more stark and cold. The video begins. We are bored by it's moral brainwashing, but we put up with it. After the brainwashing the video gets interesting. These beautiful naked girls appear, all like robots, moving in unison. They sit on these special seats from which emerge these penises, upon which they pleasure themselves.

"What's this?!" I comment to my friend.

"It's to make the brainwashing go deep!" He says. He read my mind.

We are finally released. My dad is waiting to pick us up in the car. He was contacted by the police.

We get in the car, and all seems well, but then the boy who has the heart problem, has a heart attack. The stress has tipped him over the edge. My dad stops the car and calls an ambulance.

We are taken back to the police station because we are accused of something else.

This time, We then have to all go to sleep in these specific beds. I refuse as it's not comfortable. I find a nasturtium patch which I lie down in and make a comfortable bed.

I am almost through with this, but then my dad calls. "Stephen, are you about?"

"I'm over here in the nasturtium patch."

He comes over with a worried look on his face.

"I'm in real trouble, I could get sued...."

He tells me how he didn't have insurance for people having sudden illnesses in his car, and there is a real danger that he could get a huge fine of millions of pounds which would make my family bust.

"Ah don't worry about that" I try to assure him , but I really don't know if it will help. He is still panicking.

We have to go to the house of the boy's parents.

We are in a house now which has some decking in the garden. We are just about to leave when this fat nasty older brother of the boy comes along torturing a toad. It makes me so angry that I go over to him and punch him in the face.

Now the family are really angry at me. I run off into the park. I want to get home as soon as possible. I take a short cut which involves climbing down the giant tree. I finally get to the bottom of the tree which is next to the bottom of my parents road and run up to my parents.

There is a family gathering going on. All the relatives are here. I can easily get lost in the crowd.

I go to the toilet. It has two doors now, interconnected, - when one is open the other is closed and vise versa. It's better to have the back one open and the front one closed, I tell my uncle. He is not sure. At least if they come for me and don't know about the back door, they may not find me. I don't tell my uncle this however, as he used to be the chief constable of London.