Cosmical Roots, and leadership.

I'm with james, my bro, and conor, and 2 black guys who are rappers. 

Simon is showing us how the iboga plant works. He says look at the root

- playing with this cosmical thing

"Its like playing with the universe"

Different from peires way of doing things

-

I wander off, I get emotionally and litterally stuck in a ditch, I fall down, and thanks to these girls who came to see the witches who lived in the ditch, I don't bang my head and hurt my self, but instead my head lands on the arms of this girl.

I am helped out of the ditch. I feel so clumsy. 

I wander back up the hill where the rest of the folk are. I go into the church and sit down. A performance is going on and I am needed to join in, so I grab a guitar and join the musicians sat on the left. Up on stage I see kirsty, I haven't see her in ages. I go up and give her a great big hug. She is playing the "priestess" role for the performance which is largely religious. 

After this I am with ewart and zoe. I kiss zoe in front of ewart which I am shy at doing because it kinda says, "I'm going out with her" now, and I'm not sure weather I want to give that message. But afterwards it actually feels really good to be open with this. 

Now I'm back with the rappers and the iboga. I am amazed at how the root is so cosmical. I can manipulate it into all these crazy shapes and forms. Its like playing with universes. 

My attitude is being shown clearly to me that I am not being very careful. I am clumsy. The others play with it delicately but I don't have the sensitivity to play with it so as to make beautiful patterns. 

One of the rappers is the lead rapper. He has no difficulty just holding a mic and making a party rock, using beat boxing, and a flow of lyrics that seem to spontaneously emerge from his voice, carrying a conscious message of hip hop. 

I on the other hand feel tongue tied. I don't know how to even begin making up lyrics on the spot and so I just try to copy his beatbox style and somehow imagine that if I keep beatboxing confidently enough the lyrics with come. 

I feel like I am almost in some kind of test where I need to show the confidence to be a leader; to show how to speak my mind, to speak my truth.