Loneliness and insecurity

Meeting andrew forbes. We meet on a long walk and chat about what we
have been up to since we last met. I go back to a flat. Its a new
space that I have not visited yet.

Andy turns up again outside this time with two mates. I invite them
into the new flat for a cuppa. His two flat mates start playing
drumming on one another.  It evolves slowly into a kind of contact
jam. I am doing these capoera like moves where my feet contact the
other peoples feet in the room.

Andy warns me of two characters who came into the house with ros
before I arrived. I get the feeling from what he's saying to me that
these guys are idiots.


----

I am in a big open art room. I am looking to inside a cabinet. I see
the date 19th of April, with a notice drawn in biro describing some
event. It seems like such an obscure place for a notice so I open to
get a better look.

Upon opening the notice changes form into various graffiti marks.
Which reminds me; I'm in an art room. I know that I went to bed in
this big art room. I'm worried that people will come in and find me
here. I am overwhelmed with this sense of not having a place where I
feel safe. I know that this is not my space and that I need to make
myself feel more secure. I wander over to the mattress that is my bed
and lie down on it. I think of all the people who when out to the
dance last night and the imagination of them comes back to me vividly.
I feel poised between 2 key feelings - that of loneliness combined
with lack of sense of belonging, and that of insecurity mixed with
cautiousness - I know that there are people who I may feel a
connection to, but equally I may not, and they may be hostile and
territorial.

  These people, they may come back here.