The Carvings of the old Gods

Im on Hangingwater allotments. 

There has been an archaeological discovery.  An old anglo saxon
burial remain has uncovered a large patterned shield, thanks to stella. 

Darrel is impressed. There has also been found old carvings. I see a memorable carving of a wolf and  many beautiful carvings of the old gods. They are intricate and abstract; A balance between real and impressionist. 
-

Noah and Nelida come to allotment. I play with them and look after
them. Noah get yogurt on his skin - Marie says to rub in. Its good for his skin.

Funny Films

I'm with a few friends watching a home made video. I wanted to show it
to them because it shows when JJ met cortney pine and a few other
famous musicians.

Its a really funny bit of filming. During the credits after, one
strange name comes up, which I comment on sounding like a porn star
name. One friend of mine says that was her name once. She continues
"yes I was approached by the porn industry when I was thirteen and a
half, they hung me from a nail on the wall...."

Guilty or Innocent?

I'm wandering through town late at night on my way home, and I'm
keeping my eye out for free things in skips; building materials for a
new construction I want to build on one of the allotments.

I have just been visiting my cousins place; Elvin said that he had a
load of old windows that I could use. I have loaded these into a
friends car which is close by.

As I'm passing a big warehouse I notice that there are a load of
planks of wood in a skip. I need to sneak in to get them, as there is
security, protecting the skip, but I am fairly confident in my ability
to do this so I go ahead, climbing over the fence to get to the skip.
I offload the wood and slide in under the fence so that I can get it
from the other side. On my way back round I see some drain piping that
I don't think is for the skip, and I get tempted to remove just one of
them an leave it outside the perimeter, so that I can come back to
collect in the morning if its still there. I feel a little naughty
doing this, but I am also driven by a survival need; I am really poor
and can't afford to buy the things I need to just live my life.

-

Alarms are going off. I drop the drain pipe and run, I don't have time
to collect my wood. As I turn around a corner I notice police cars
have started to arrive.

-

I get back home but somehow the security cameras in the yard of the
warehouse have tracked me, and they are sending round security to
investigate. I am going to be taken to court as a potential criminal.

-

Paul an his girlfriend joanna are helping me. They are helping me by
getting me to formulate exactly what happened.
Its a complex situation, as it seems like quite a few things went
missing from the warehouse that day. I am being accused for all of it,
but there is the possibility that there were two break-ins on one
night, me and someone else, and so I am going to argue this case.

I'm spending the night at my brother joe's. He tells me about how the
store manager found some evidence against me: on the window sill
within the warehouse some pieces of string were found, and one of them
had my name on it.

Court case coming up -

the Song Of Marriage

Im at Church. The adults, all married couples, are singing a duet style song
all about the power love and the renewal of marriage vows.

I see them all gazing into their partners eyes. I see them singing
their hearts out, with love. The music is moving, and everyone is
involved. It is a vivid and moving experience to witness. 

Now there's a new sound; an instrument which is like the kora, but
bigger, and more sounding like a zither. Its being played by bengi and
he is playing it realy well. It is very rhythmical and complex, there
is a framedrum which is amplified and very resonant bassy accompanying
this music.

-

I'm with ailsa, and we are in sheffield. We wake up late, and I'm
going to miss meeting my friend jade.  It starts snowing, my parents
are suggesting ways to get out to meet her but everything seems to be
getting in the way of it happening. There is no phone connection. Its
a huge distance to go in one day.

Paul says he will drive me to meet her, and somehow we seem to manage,
despite the weather being against us, to make it work out.

The Impenetrable Palace and the Fruit trees by the Road

I'm trying to sneak into the impenetrable palace. There are security
cameras everywhere, especially around the gates and entrance ways. If
you are seen even getting close to the gates security guards turn up
to make you leave.
They also have armed guns which follow you round.

I'm with my dad and we are walking close by one of the gates. I have
found this special method of getting in, where I get someone to
distract the security guards (in this case my dad) and I sneak in just
behind them when they come out. I test out my method and it works. Now
I'm inside the grounds of the impenetrable palace and looking around.
There are all these official looking men with smart suits looking very
serious and unfriendly. I'm worried that they will find me, and I'm
not entirely sure what I am planning on doing here. What I do want to
know however, is why they are keeping it so top secret and secure.
There must be dark doings, lies and corruption around here...

-

Filming -

My parents have got this new cottage, or is it an old cottage, just
down the hill from wellow. It is going to get taken away again just
like wellow so it is a sad time. I however have planted a fruit tree
rebelliously at the side of the road, with a few daffodils to either
side of it, which seems to be doing well against all the odds. Just
before giving up hope I notice that someone has planted a line of
daffodils all the way up and down the side of the road, continuing the
idea of the guerrilla growing. Now I am inspired to stick all my fruit
trees in this line because the daffodils will protect them from
getting chopped down. The daffodils are bright yellow and are shining
like golden lights, bringing light anf warmth and joy to this place.
People now pay attention the the side of the road as not just a place
to walk by but also a place of beauty and a place to pay attention to.

-

I'm now playing rugby with simon and joe, I'm kicking the ball but
because of its strange shape it bounces right back at me. Joe suggests
some tips as to how to kick it to make it go forward.

The Half Finished Tipi

There's a giant tipi which is half finished;
Huge tree trunks a meter wide and a hundred foot long all stacked up
together in a flat field. I feel the need to help finish this tipi
project, but when I start using leverage to get another couple of tree
trunks hoisted up to the apex , one of the trunks crashes to the
ground nearly crushing some of the little people below.

With this trunk down, a couple more of the giant trunks come crashing
down, one of them snapping in half as it hits the ground.

The force of these falling trunks down causes the fastening holding
all the poles together to dislodge, which then allows many more giants
to crash to the ground. The little people run in all directions to get
away from the danger. These falling logs will bring an end to anyone
they hit.

I feel I should have known that if I put up the poles it would have
collapsed, and now I feel really bad for causing this danger and
potential death to the little people.

Richards handouts, Runes, Friends, loosing things, and new stone age monuments,

I'm looking at one of rich's handouts, and I can't quite get my head
around what its trying to explain, and all of a sudden rich turns up
and explains to me, in his typical "know it all" style.

This worksheet has this hexagonal like pattern on it, and he tells me
that its all about the fire crops.

I am amazed, its as if he is just here and I can ask him whatever
questions I like. I find another worksheet and ask him, and again he
brings the answer right to me.

-

I'm now exploring runes. I have found this room which has lots of
information about them and lots of objects relating to them. I am
shown that the male erection is one of the primal forces and symbols
that gave rise to runes and runic magic. Different runes were created
in reference to different states of the penis, and sexual positions.

-

I'm now with debs and  we are on a train, traveling through the
countryside around sheffield. We are going to see her girls. When we
meet them there are changes; they are not as connected as they used to
be. One of them has lost all her connections with nature and doesn't
feel any desire to reconnect with these roots of hers.

-

I'm now with Pete in brambles.  New anarchist types are moving in, to
replace oli and daniele moving out. I get the sense that pete doesn't
connect with these new types as well as his old friends.

Brambles is high up now, with many floors which look down on a garden
far below. Its got more stories added higher up than I imagined. These
new people who have moved in seem very little and a bit shy.

We go outside into the garden. Pete points out this cherry tree who's
trunk is curving back down to the ground as it grows up. It makes a
very interesting climbing tree so he explores ways to climb it. It
involves climbing almost upside down for a while, during the bit where
the trunk comes back on its self. I worry for pete as its really
tricky but he seems to manage fine and get safely to the end.

--------------

I'm worried about things getting stolen. I am hiding my laptops
upstairs so that they are away from the clever person who is stealing
them.

-

I am watching a tv program about a new stone age monument they have
discovered. It is full of sacred geometry or so they say. They use
computer technology to show how it contains all these sacred number
patterns , going above ground to reveal the shapes.

There is a point at the back of the monument where they believe it had
a huge gold disk - a rotating image of the sun.

The line between metaphor and fact

I'm with friends. We are driving to a gig in a bus. One of my friends
M is driving. He is not concentrating on what he is doing. The bus has
an auto pilot control which is overly relying upon. At one point he
just gets up from the front of the bus while the bus is in auto pilot
and walks to the back to start talking to someone further back. Me and
my friend P are concerned. We watch the auto pilot controls. We are on
the motorway, and M has left the car in the left hand lane travelling
at 60. We watch as many vehicles start clogging up the road in front.
The auto pilot is struggling to manage with all the complications, and
so it starts beeping to the driver to switch it back into manual. We
shout M to come over but he is too far to hear and he has forgotten
about his responsibility to drive.

Now the police have spotted us and are signalling us to pull up on the
left, but as M is still not back in the drivers seat this doesn't
happen. Now the police cars circle us and force us to stop by shooting
our tires and making us stop; they are aware now that there is no
driver in the driving seat and so it is vital that they stop this
vehicle that we are in so that the road is safe.

The bus bursts into flames. It crashes to a halt on the side of the
motorway but miraculously non of us get injured.  We get out. We have
to explain to the police what happened.

M feels really bad about what happened. He is very sorry. He tells me
an p "why didn't you get up to come and get me?"
"We thought you could here us" we reply.

Anyway, it turns out that the bus is ok. We start our journey again.
Me and p are discussing which the fosse way is . I tell hims its the
A303 689.  He's not so sure, so we get a map out to check it up.


M is behaving very complacent. He is totally not engaging in  life,
and so we try to help him, he needs some guidance.

I see that he is not really being authentic to himself.  Its as if he
is living in a dream, or fantasy world.

"You are not being authentic to yourself. You need to be more true to
your self.

"We all must find a way of drawing the line between metaphor and fact,
just as one must find a way to draw a line between fantasy and
reality. You need to do the same" I say to him sternly.

This is a hard line I'm taking with M, but it seems to be getting
through to him.

Cardiff Cider

I'm in cardiff and I'm with my family. We are getting a tour around
the old town. I am exploring the space. Kate is here.

I have a guide, he is an old man, well shaven, smartly dressed and who
smokes cigarettes. He offers me a cigarette, I say no, but take one
anyway, and smoke it, while we walk through the old industrial city by
the dockland. The cigarette seems to help me with focus and energy
levels.

There is a guy who is very much engaged with making cider. He has been
making cider for abundance cardiff and has a new method of pouring it
out. I taste some and it tastes great. T

Kate wants to explore the space on her own, so I leave her to explore.
I follow my guide.

Loneliness and insecurity

Meeting andrew forbes. We meet on a long walk and chat about what we
have been up to since we last met. I go back to a flat. Its a new
space that I have not visited yet.

Andy turns up again outside this time with two mates. I invite them
into the new flat for a cuppa. His two flat mates start playing
drumming on one another.  It evolves slowly into a kind of contact
jam. I am doing these capoera like moves where my feet contact the
other peoples feet in the room.

Andy warns me of two characters who came into the house with ros
before I arrived. I get the feeling from what he's saying to me that
these guys are idiots.


----

I am in a big open art room. I am looking to inside a cabinet. I see
the date 19th of April, with a notice drawn in biro describing some
event. It seems like such an obscure place for a notice so I open to
get a better look.

Upon opening the notice changes form into various graffiti marks.
Which reminds me; I'm in an art room. I know that I went to bed in
this big art room. I'm worried that people will come in and find me
here. I am overwhelmed with this sense of not having a place where I
feel safe. I know that this is not my space and that I need to make
myself feel more secure. I wander over to the mattress that is my bed
and lie down on it. I think of all the people who when out to the
dance last night and the imagination of them comes back to me vividly.
I feel poised between 2 key feelings - that of loneliness combined
with lack of sense of belonging, and that of insecurity mixed with
cautiousness - I know that there are people who I may feel a
connection to, but equally I may not, and they may be hostile and
territorial.

  These people, they may come back here.

Note dream

Plants - not to take this rare plant - important - botanical garden.

Fire - phil - we have built a final one, left overs. Getting ready
before travel.

------

Hoppi an Paul at lammas - I'm cramped in, need more space. About
expressing the seasons through ones own body.


Jamming with conor, doing improvised stuff. Expressing stressed emotions.

Singing loudly, improvising drawing and using the drawing as a start for words


Yogurt women.
Pretzels.

I meant to say "I need a fox spirit guide" but it comes out "I need a
foxy lady!"

"Yeah" conor says

The spiritual Dimension of Animals

I'm at some kind of gathering. I think I am at lammas, and I can see
hoppi. I notice that they have 2 cows now, or is it 2 bulls? They are
enormous beasts; twice as long as your biggest bull and with huge
horns. They are terrifying but also quite harmless as they cannot move
very fast.
I become aware of how they exist on a different reality to us; that
although they seem less intelligent than humans they just occupy a
different intelligence. They are working with humans just as much as
humans are working with them. They have their own spiritual realities
which they adhere to.

(It occurs to me when I wake up that these could be Aurocs.)

I then see how all animals have this spiritual dimension that they
exist in and I see how human existence is so dependent on the animals
which support them. I see how in the old world, humans survived
because of their connection with the animals.

-

I see how here there is lots of space for people to grow. I see the
children growing up here becoming confident and strong and creative.
They understand nature and how to expand into space. Its a beautiful
vision and also a little sad because it makes me realise how alone I
am. I start wondering around this gathering looking for women who I
find attractive. I see lots of women who have pretty faces. Their eyes
seem to not meet mine, they are looking some place else. I meet my
younger brother and he is cleaning his teeth. He is also looking for a
partner and seems to have the right approach ; let outer appearance
reflect inner worth. I however seem to have lost hope of ever finding
anyone and old regrets come back to haunt me.

I wander off from the festival scene feeling thoroughly hopeless. I
enter a long hall way, a bit like a church and there is an old
Scottish ancestor sat in a chair.
I go and sit by him and he talks wisdom. He says something like
"Use the machinery to allow things to grow organically."

 --------


-----------
I am with rich from coed. We are with another guy and we are getting
ready to go out for a party. We are seeking women. We cross these
fields and come to a strange bar, with about 3 rooms.