I find ink cap mushrooms in my friends garden next door. He looks down out of the window to see what I'm up to and I tell him. "They're edible".
He comes down outside and begins telling me about how he loves everything in life, even the seemingly inanimate objects. He talks to them as if they were his children. He says "children are just so wonderful to have... "
Monday, 17 March 2014
Going overboard getting rid of junk
I'm at N's house with all the junk. I have a little camp place outside, a tent which is shared with lots of other people. I have made my bed, nice and comfortable. I get up and go outside and meet a
family who have just arrived. I think they are family friends of my parents. They have 6 boys. The youngest of them is very annoying. He has developed the habit of fighting for his place in the family by being stubborn and irritating, and manipulative, because he doesn't have the strength of the others.
As soon as they get out of the car he runs over to my bed and claims it as his own, saying that its his and he's been there for ages.
I run over to rescue it from him telling him its my space. He fights with me and bickers, at which point I think there's no point in fighting back; there's plenty of other beds out here so I decide to
choose my own bed elsewhere in the tent.
I come to a bed that is even nicer that my other one, at which point the irritating kid comes over and starts trying to pull the duvet off me, claiming that this is his bed. I tell him to stop being so annoying and to give back the duvet but he refuses.
At this point I get angry with him and smack him on the back of the hand, which makes him drop the duvet. He bursts into tears, but I know they are fake tears, because they only last a few seconds. I tell him that ill smack him harder next time if he doesn't stop.
---
I have a little fire burning amidst all the junk. I feel so hampered with all this stuff that I want rid of. I decide to chuck stuff on the fire, and I find some liquid in a bottle. Perhaps its flammable, I wonder... I chuck some on, and it flares up. I begin pouring this liquid around casually, amidst all the stuff, thinking this is the quickest way to deal with it all, but go alittle overboard, at which point I have to run from the flames, spilling the liquid as I go. It gets on my trousers and they catch fire. Soon I imagine I will here an explosion when some of this junk (old cars and such like) explodes...
Its a careless way to deal with it all...
family who have just arrived. I think they are family friends of my parents. They have 6 boys. The youngest of them is very annoying. He has developed the habit of fighting for his place in the family by being stubborn and irritating, and manipulative, because he doesn't have the strength of the others.
As soon as they get out of the car he runs over to my bed and claims it as his own, saying that its his and he's been there for ages.
I run over to rescue it from him telling him its my space. He fights with me and bickers, at which point I think there's no point in fighting back; there's plenty of other beds out here so I decide to
choose my own bed elsewhere in the tent.
I come to a bed that is even nicer that my other one, at which point the irritating kid comes over and starts trying to pull the duvet off me, claiming that this is his bed. I tell him to stop being so annoying and to give back the duvet but he refuses.
At this point I get angry with him and smack him on the back of the hand, which makes him drop the duvet. He bursts into tears, but I know they are fake tears, because they only last a few seconds. I tell him that ill smack him harder next time if he doesn't stop.
---
I have a little fire burning amidst all the junk. I feel so hampered with all this stuff that I want rid of. I decide to chuck stuff on the fire, and I find some liquid in a bottle. Perhaps its flammable, I wonder... I chuck some on, and it flares up. I begin pouring this liquid around casually, amidst all the stuff, thinking this is the quickest way to deal with it all, but go alittle overboard, at which point I have to run from the flames, spilling the liquid as I go. It gets on my trousers and they catch fire. Soon I imagine I will here an explosion when some of this junk (old cars and such like) explodes...
Its a careless way to deal with it all...
Special kids and Great flying experiences
I meet this kid I meet. He is a very special kid. Has an incredible artistic ability. I see all these drawings that he has done. His parents have been encouraging his talent. I show some of his drawings to my dad and he is also impressed. His drawings seem to involve a lot of buildings and structures.
He has also got this ability to carve stone. He has done all these patterns in rocks. They are triangular and have markings in each of the triangles. I meet his family.
He tells me his name is Mumksmy.
-
I am climbing up this hill in the city surrounded by houses on either side. I can see that when I get to the top of the hill I will have an amazing view. I find a little footpath between the houses that leads
up steeply. I wander up. I hear someone walking behind me and I get a little scared because its a rough area and its dark, but the voice of this stranger turns out to be female: they are muttering things in a thoughtful kind of way to themselves, so I relax. She catches up with me just as I reach the top of the path, and I get the sense she is crazy and mad, or on drugs, as she seems to have no idea I am there and her mutterings don't make any sense to me whatsoever.
It is apparent however that she was also coming up here to get the good view. We find a gap between a row of houses and look out across the city lights. "There, look at that!" I say, impressed by the view.
She makes a grunt of approval. Then she seems to disappear.
If only I could get even higher up it would look even more amazing. And so I imagine myself flying, up above the houses. And my imagination lifts me, takes me up, into the sky. I vividly see the
detail stretching out before my sight. The buildings seem to have taken on a lego like quality, all blocky and plastic futuristic. I get quite scared because it is such a height I am flying too. I know this
is an important experience shamanically. This is an attempt to get to an upper world reality. I don't get there but I feel I am experiencing truly what it feels like to begin the journey into that place in the
sky. And I wonder weather the old crazy woman had something to do with helping me. The vividness and the detail I saw of the world below stuck with me long after I had woken up.
allotment shit
I'm on the allotments. I need a shit really badly and don't have
anywhere to go, so I quickly grab some newspaper and place it on the
floor and pull my trousers down, squating over it.
My body releases the shit, at which point my friend pete turns up with
another friend to say hi. I feel sudden shame and embarrassment. I
look down between my legs and the pile my arse had deposited is huge
beyond belief, like that a cow might do, but mush whiter in colour.
How do I hide this from them I wonder? I mush find a way, so I quickly
mix it all up with dirt, dust and soil from the path, and pretend that
its not there. Pete knows full well what I'm doing, but his female
friend doesn't so he can understand why I need to hide it.
Once dealt with more friends come up. Two guys bring lots of drugs and
start offering them to us. In a short space of time there are lots of
packages all over the allotment table, and I get paranoid that the
police will come and I will get in trouble because of them. I feel
lost and off my course.
---
I can here classical music as clearly as if I were listening to it in
real life if not clearer.
---
I am playing football. I am goal keeping. One of my friends is an
attacker on the opposite team and I notice that he is left footed.
The underground water temple
I am by a little stream in the woods with my brother james. The water
in the stream trickles and flows round tree roots, rocks and earth,
carving its eternal way to the sea. Its a beautiful quiet spot.
We explore the stream. There is another friend with us while we do this.
I am exploring down the stream, following its course, until I come to
a low bridge, which the river goes under. There is a hanging sheet of
metal, disguised as more wall, which covers over the tunnel of the
bridge, disguising what lies beyond. At first I mistake it for more
walls but its only when I get close that I realise this. A part of me
is very tempted to explore the stream under the bridge to see where it
leads to. I cautiously push the swinging gate back to see what lies
beyond. Its not as dark as I imagined it would be, there is a soft
faint green glow illuminating the river tunnel. I tell my brother I am
going to explore inside, and wade through the water towards the soft
green glow.
About twenty yards within, the space opens up into a wide chamber. The
water moves in all directions, and there are water falls and circular
covets from which water flows out and over. The stone work that
created this chamber is advanced and architectural. I go through some
archways and the space opens out even more to a temple with huge
pillars and stone archways like you'd expect to see in an ancient
monument to the gods. I shout down the tunnel to my brother to come
and see this. I explore through the emerald tinted pillars,
geometrically precise, and marvel at the design. Here is a magical
place that lifts the spirits.
---
in the stream trickles and flows round tree roots, rocks and earth,
carving its eternal way to the sea. Its a beautiful quiet spot.
We explore the stream. There is another friend with us while we do this.
I am exploring down the stream, following its course, until I come to
a low bridge, which the river goes under. There is a hanging sheet of
metal, disguised as more wall, which covers over the tunnel of the
bridge, disguising what lies beyond. At first I mistake it for more
walls but its only when I get close that I realise this. A part of me
is very tempted to explore the stream under the bridge to see where it
leads to. I cautiously push the swinging gate back to see what lies
beyond. Its not as dark as I imagined it would be, there is a soft
faint green glow illuminating the river tunnel. I tell my brother I am
going to explore inside, and wade through the water towards the soft
green glow.
About twenty yards within, the space opens up into a wide chamber. The
water moves in all directions, and there are water falls and circular
covets from which water flows out and over. The stone work that
created this chamber is advanced and architectural. I go through some
archways and the space opens out even more to a temple with huge
pillars and stone archways like you'd expect to see in an ancient
monument to the gods. I shout down the tunnel to my brother to come
and see this. I explore through the emerald tinted pillars,
geometrically precise, and marvel at the design. Here is a magical
place that lifts the spirits.
---
The Lady with three breasts
I'm driving in a car with a friend, and they are helping me with the driving.
We drive up to the park, next to the council estate on top of the
hill. We get to a dead end and in this place we see lots of poor kids
playing football in the quiet back streets of the council estate. Its
a poor place up here. The houses are all run down and you can see on
the faces of the people that they don't have much, that they are of
the strugglers.
_
I get out of the car. There is an important person I have to meet who
lives up here. All the kids in the street get excited when they find
out I am going to visit her. One of them follows me all the way, and
helps me when I get lost.
This lady is something of an enigma. She is a special healer who's
body is truly unique.
We go down all these stairs and into a basement, which seems like its
being used as a brothel. We go into the room at the end of the
corridor and enter. She is sat waiting for us. She is a small black
woman, with a most unusual chest; rather than seeing two bumps
indicating her breasts sticking out, she has three bumps, all in a row
across the top of her chest. Rather than being ashamed of this, she is
proud. She takes off her thin top she has been wearing and displays
her breasts for me to see. They are beautifully shaped and although at
first it seems a little weird for me, I soon get used to it. She
encourages me to play with her breasts. She likes them to be played
with. It is because of her unique body that the people in the area
revere her and give her a lot of respect. Her uniqueness also gives
her her special healing abilities. She is a sexual healer. I don't
know how old she is as she seems to have an ageless quality about her.
I cup her central breast in my hand. At first it feels strange, as if
this middle breast shouldn't be here, but I soon get used to it. I become aware that I am being
watched. The kid from the estate who helped me get here has stayed to
watch us. I feel uncomfortable with this but she doesn't mind one bit.
---
We drive up to the park, next to the council estate on top of the
hill. We get to a dead end and in this place we see lots of poor kids
playing football in the quiet back streets of the council estate. Its
a poor place up here. The houses are all run down and you can see on
the faces of the people that they don't have much, that they are of
the strugglers.
_
I get out of the car. There is an important person I have to meet who
lives up here. All the kids in the street get excited when they find
out I am going to visit her. One of them follows me all the way, and
helps me when I get lost.
This lady is something of an enigma. She is a special healer who's
body is truly unique.
We go down all these stairs and into a basement, which seems like its
being used as a brothel. We go into the room at the end of the
corridor and enter. She is sat waiting for us. She is a small black
woman, with a most unusual chest; rather than seeing two bumps
indicating her breasts sticking out, she has three bumps, all in a row
across the top of her chest. Rather than being ashamed of this, she is
proud. She takes off her thin top she has been wearing and displays
her breasts for me to see. They are beautifully shaped and although at
first it seems a little weird for me, I soon get used to it. She
encourages me to play with her breasts. She likes them to be played
with. It is because of her unique body that the people in the area
revere her and give her a lot of respect. Her uniqueness also gives
her her special healing abilities. She is a sexual healer. I don't
know how old she is as she seems to have an ageless quality about her.
I cup her central breast in my hand. At first it feels strange, as if
this middle breast shouldn't be here, but I soon get used to it. I become aware that I am being
watched. The kid from the estate who helped me get here has stayed to
watch us. I feel uncomfortable with this but she doesn't mind one bit.
---
The Soul Child
The other day I woke up with a dream and decided to write it down in poem form, for a change -
Here it is - its called The Soul Child
The Soul Child
Running along the road, the story of the soul,
Children without a care
Parents worried of the car
O fragile Soul, lost so easily! Wars one of the major causes,
Confirmed, soldiers psyche
Shattered to pieces
Unable to function
Rape is the next one
soul escapes and is gone.
Anything traumatic: We escape to get away.
I'm not worried for my own child
I see the spirit guiding him free and wild
My dad tries to control
So his glasses I stole
And threw behind, making him blind,
But he chased on, like the dream was not done,
My mum rescued the glasses,
I know I was wrong but two people fighting for the same goal is just
silly. My child will be fine, I trust the signs.
And I wake wondering
Where has the trust gone, and why all the fear?
More about relationships...
Its a relationships lesson at school.
We are in acting class. These two people have been chosen to play the lead role. They are playing the lovers who get married. They don't know one another very well, but by the time we have finished they really will.
Many people in the class comment on how lovely they look together, and how well suited they are for one another. Its like we want them to be together in real life too!
One of the main scenes is the big dance where we all find partners and dance around, the main couple being the focus in the center.
I am very attracted to these 2 girls, so I keep hanging out hoping one of them will want to dance with me. One of my friends also likes one of them, so I use this as a starting point for conversation. I say
"Did you know that Simon likes you?"
"Yeah, I knew that, but I don't think we are very well suited together", she says.
"I think you are beautiful!"
"What!?"
"I mean, I find you rather attractive..."
She pauses. She is lying next to me, and the curve of her hips and long hair seem so enticing.
She holds me and says, "Thanks, but I don't thing I am the one for you, nor you for me. But I do like you as a friend".
-----
The lesson draws to an end. It has been a very chilled out lesson, as we are getting towards the end of term. The teacher has been taking it very easy on us.
The teacher says "As long as you have got your animal with you, you'll be fine".
"Well I should be ok, because I always have badger with me" I say confidently.
One of my other friends comments along similar lines. The class all now do a dance with their animal and this concludes the day.
Supermarkets and old school...
Me an my family are in the super market. It is also connected with my old school. Its the afternoon and time to do the shopping and go home. The supermarket has open walls as if it were more like a market. I get to the end where you pay and the cashier lady gives me a tip, "look over here she says, "we are just getting rid of all this!"
"Can I take some?" I say.
She doesn't comment because she could get into trouble if she is caught saying yes, but I know she means it.
In the bins behind the checkout are loads of sweet bakery products; cakes, iced buns, tasty breads and other yummies all on top of the chuck out stuff. There's someone else grabbing some freebies so I gladly join in, filling my arms with all the sweet delights. They are still perfectly good to eat, they have just passed the day they were meant to be sold so they have to chuck them out.
Loaded with goodies, I stagger back to the car. My mum has been waiting, and is just about to drive off. I catch her just in time.
This time I am to sit in the towed vehicle behind. I get into the drivers seat in the towed vehicle but it doesn't have a steering wheel. I don't know how to control this car. I ask my mum but she is busy driving the other vehicle. I just sit and somehow this car just follows the course of my mums car without crashing into anything.
We get home. Its Simon's birthday so I celebrate with him by smoking a really big ganga pipe. My mum enters while we are getting it prepared. Try as I may to keep it hidden from her, she knows what we are up to. Its as if I would have been better just telling her straight off. Its not like I am doing anything wrong after all. We are smoking the organic home grown stuff that is much gentler and easier on the body and mind.
My mum is naked now, and its as if nothing can be hidden from her. Her body is not held back by anything and she can go where she wants and can know anything she wants to know.
Word games
I'm with Kate again. So good to see her. We hug. I talk to her about relationship, and we travel together again around Sheffield. We meet people with questions. We meet a philosopher. They ask us about doubt. I reply - "its a good thing to be positively skeptical and to question things".
I meet mum. I go to old school. There's all these children with big bright faces. Its like I can see their soul through their eyes.
I meet Conor and friends. Just been out for long walk. Gona make some food and have a party. We invite all the Sheffield crew.
I'm playing word games at home. Mum and dad. We have letters have to make up the words. One of the words is GEORGE. ( I can't help notice that its granddads name. ) I am playing the game naked but I have a towel wrapped around me for decency. and dad
We are now at a TV show playing the same game. Some of hosts ask if there are any kids from the audience who might have collected sticks. They bring in sticks for the work. We notice it is set in a woodland and all these kids come out of it carrying sticks. Some have an enormous tree trunk.
Sunday, 9 March 2014
Unfinished Temples
I am with a cousin. She is telling me about this pain she is getting
in her chest area. I have these two huge flat needles and I
instinctively stick them right into her muscles just below her knee.
She doesn't even notice me pushing them in. She talks to me about
things troubling her heart and I listen as best I can to help her.
---
I have a dream about eating lots of spaghetti bolonaise. It has meat
in it and it tastes really great. I am loading it into a bowl and
wolfing it down.
---
I have been carving away at this unfinished sculpture. It turns out
that it is a whole project of many sculptures, not just a single
sculpture. I end up making all these model figures, and they become
characters in a scene. The scene evolves into these greek temples, a
whole pantheon of mount olympus. Like a giant dolls house for the
gods.
I never finish the temple. My dad and grandfather are here with me and
they have been watching my progress. The temple is not symmetrical,
its all out of line, but my grandfather says it doesn't matter. We
look at it as a whole, there is only one wall that really needs
finishing, and I think I have just enough time to finish it.
in her chest area. I have these two huge flat needles and I
instinctively stick them right into her muscles just below her knee.
She doesn't even notice me pushing them in. She talks to me about
things troubling her heart and I listen as best I can to help her.
---
I have a dream about eating lots of spaghetti bolonaise. It has meat
in it and it tastes really great. I am loading it into a bowl and
wolfing it down.
---
I have been carving away at this unfinished sculpture. It turns out
that it is a whole project of many sculptures, not just a single
sculpture. I end up making all these model figures, and they become
characters in a scene. The scene evolves into these greek temples, a
whole pantheon of mount olympus. Like a giant dolls house for the
gods.
I never finish the temple. My dad and grandfather are here with me and
they have been watching my progress. The temple is not symmetrical,
its all out of line, but my grandfather says it doesn't matter. We
look at it as a whole, there is only one wall that really needs
finishing, and I think I have just enough time to finish it.
Saturday, 8 March 2014
Soul Kin
I'm with a group of peers, from all around the world. They are about my own age, and they are members of my soul kin. Some of them I have not met yet in ordinary reality but I will do. We are being assessed and instructed by one of our soul tutors. He is a soul tutor to all of us, and teaches us in dreams and in ordinary reality.
He is talking to us about how pleased he is with our progress. He is telling us that he has never had such a strong bunch of people with such diverse skills. He wants us all to know about how great we are, and so he is complementing us on our gifts, strengths and talents.
After this he goes into a dark room and we can only see him through the glass, a shadowy outline, but the sun shines through a gap in the tinted glass right onto his face, illuminating up the worn wizened
features of his face.
_
I am with a couple of friends and we have just got back to my house from being out. The front door is unlocked, I must have forgot to lock it. We go inside and all the stuff from the kitchen and sitting room has been stolen. I panic and tell my friends that it must be a bad dream, and proceed to wake myself up, which I do, and I am calm again.
He is talking to us about how pleased he is with our progress. He is telling us that he has never had such a strong bunch of people with such diverse skills. He wants us all to know about how great we are, and so he is complementing us on our gifts, strengths and talents.
After this he goes into a dark room and we can only see him through the glass, a shadowy outline, but the sun shines through a gap in the tinted glass right onto his face, illuminating up the worn wizened
features of his face.
_
I am with a couple of friends and we have just got back to my house from being out. The front door is unlocked, I must have forgot to lock it. We go inside and all the stuff from the kitchen and sitting room has been stolen. I panic and tell my friends that it must be a bad dream, and proceed to wake myself up, which I do, and I am calm again.
The anti-war propaganda film
I am with a Japanese film maker.
A war is going on between America and Japan, and she is making an anti war propaganda film. She is using the power of romantic love to stop soldiers fighting.
I am at one of the sets where they are doing a filming rehearsal. It is set in a beautiful bit of countryside; rolling hills, woods and valleys, green and lush, surround us. It is spring time and the women are working in the fields, digging the ground to prepare for the crops.
The women working in the fields all have this pole that they hold on to while working, and while they work, their young fresh bodies sway in the breeze and move syncronistically to the natural rhythm of their work. Their clothes are loose traditional clothes which flow around them in spirals, making their bodies seem as if something out of an apparition or dream, or some mystical event.
The soldiers are arriving now. They move through the fields, and the women working stop their work to look at them. The soldiers are meant to move on through, but a number of them get charmed by these beautiful women who sway in the breeze. They join arms and begin to dance around the fields, holding hands, and smiling at one another. The sun is shining and the spirit of spring and love making fills the air.
Now it is time for the soldiers to move on. Soon it will be their duty to take over these lands and make the women move on. Perhaps the women will die. Two of the soldiers however have fallen completely in love. The scene finishes with these two soldiers and their girls, wrapped around one another, kissing, lip pressed firm against their new found lovers. They can't break away, their hearts have been bound together. Yet they have to. The war demands it so.
The dress rehearsal scene comes to an end. The Japanese film maker thanks the actors for their work, and gets down to business right away to make the scene even better.
I am amazed by what I have seen, it moved me to tears. She however is neutral, as she has worked in film most of her life, and after time you become used to the emotions and passions that flow through, and can keep a cool head.
A war is going on between America and Japan, and she is making an anti war propaganda film. She is using the power of romantic love to stop soldiers fighting.
I am at one of the sets where they are doing a filming rehearsal. It is set in a beautiful bit of countryside; rolling hills, woods and valleys, green and lush, surround us. It is spring time and the women are working in the fields, digging the ground to prepare for the crops.
The women working in the fields all have this pole that they hold on to while working, and while they work, their young fresh bodies sway in the breeze and move syncronistically to the natural rhythm of their work. Their clothes are loose traditional clothes which flow around them in spirals, making their bodies seem as if something out of an apparition or dream, or some mystical event.
The soldiers are arriving now. They move through the fields, and the women working stop their work to look at them. The soldiers are meant to move on through, but a number of them get charmed by these beautiful women who sway in the breeze. They join arms and begin to dance around the fields, holding hands, and smiling at one another. The sun is shining and the spirit of spring and love making fills the air.
Now it is time for the soldiers to move on. Soon it will be their duty to take over these lands and make the women move on. Perhaps the women will die. Two of the soldiers however have fallen completely in love. The scene finishes with these two soldiers and their girls, wrapped around one another, kissing, lip pressed firm against their new found lovers. They can't break away, their hearts have been bound together. Yet they have to. The war demands it so.
The dress rehearsal scene comes to an end. The Japanese film maker thanks the actors for their work, and gets down to business right away to make the scene even better.
I am amazed by what I have seen, it moved me to tears. She however is neutral, as she has worked in film most of her life, and after time you become used to the emotions and passions that flow through, and can keep a cool head.
No Jesus stuff !
I'm with james and marie and the kids. They have been looking after a
pet tiger. I see the pet tiger and I find it scary. the kids are not
bothered because they don't know that it will grow up but i do, and this
is why I find it scary. I see that this is a wild tiger, not tamed. I
know that when it gets just a little bigger it will become a killer, and
we would have no chance against it...
~
I am with my Dad. He is holding a skull in his hands. He passes it to me. He says "No Jesus stuff!". I think this means that he doesn't want me to sacrifice myself like he did, and become a martyr. I think he feels that I have more important things to be doing that dying young.
I see the scull can go into the Upper and Lower worlds. I travel with this scull because I know well that Jesus was just a shaman who can move between the worlds, and that his death was symbolic of a mythical death from middle world to upper world and back again. I know my dad knows I know this, which is also why he said to me "No Jesus stuff!"
~
I am with my Dad. He is holding a skull in his hands. He passes it to me. He says "No Jesus stuff!". I think this means that he doesn't want me to sacrifice myself like he did, and become a martyr. I think he feels that I have more important things to be doing that dying young.
I see the scull can go into the Upper and Lower worlds. I travel with this scull because I know well that Jesus was just a shaman who can move between the worlds, and that his death was symbolic of a mythical death from middle world to upper world and back again. I know my dad knows I know this, which is also why he said to me "No Jesus stuff!"
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