John

I am with john. We are outside jimmy's place. He has been drinking
heavily and now he is so drunk that its hard to talk any sense to him.

He starts trying to bash the bottle on his head to prove something to
himself and those around him; that he is tough and strong still. He
laughs to himself in a drunken intoxication.

I see his money spilling out of his pockets and put it back in for
him. I warn him that he must look after his money otherwise he will
loose it all. I get a sense that there are big important changes
coming his way and that I need to help him with these.

The Reformed Bureaucrat

I am at a harbour. There are groups of people in the sea and groups of
people on the harbour wall.


There is this black man with a stunts bike doing experimental stunts
by skidding close to the edge. He is a slave but he is learning to
become free. The people in the sea swimming are all slaves. They
admire the one on the stunt bike and are trying to be like him.

One of the bureaucrats who created the slave system has got stuck
climbing the harbour wall of the harbour and can't get out. He is a
big fat white guy and has never learnt how to climb holding onto the
thin ledges and bits of chain hanging off the wall. What got him there
in the first place was that he has had a change of heart and wants to
do something for the slaves to get them into a better place but he
doesn't quite know how to open up his heart and tell them.

He realises that he needs the slaves help if he is going to get free
of the harbour wall. He makes a speech to the slaves.

"I have come to realise some important things. I hate the harbour of
work, it is a bad place to work and I hate the way you have been
treated. I want to make this place a better place for you to work so
you can all be free like the chap with the stunts bike. I am going to
make changes round here!"

The slaves all cheer and help him now to climb out of the harbour.

----

I am in a walled garden doing some digging. It is very easy to work
the soil, it is so fertile and rich. I am with a few friends and we
realise we have landed on a gold mine.

I find some old photos of the garden. Rich used to work here, and he
has left lots of photos of how it once was.

----

Mum

I'm at home.

I have been getting very specific tastes for what I am wanting to eat,
so I am following up these urges. Right now it is cereal, museli, with
cold whole milk. I end up carrying my bowl of museli around the house
before sitting down to eat it.

My mum is having a go at me.

She is saying, "don't make a mess, don't spill the milk!"

She has a point, but I am very careful, and I don't spill a drop.

She continues having a go at me, even after I have sat down at the
table and am eating it "properly".

I answer back saying "why are you having a go at me? Its as if you
just want to burden me with things I haven't done!"

"Well", she says, "I thought you liked taking the blame for other
peoples stuff, do you not like it?"

"No I don't. I will not be blamed for things I didn't do." As I am
saying this I am pulling a long hair out of my bowl of museli.

The house is in a mess. This is one of the reasons why she is having a
go at me. She is seeing if she can get me to deal with some of this
mess that I didn't even make.

"Ok" she says, and calms down.

She asks me what I have been up to. I tell her about the big seed sort
of Richards seeds.  I show her the process of sorting seeds, looking
for the date. She gives me a packet of amaranth seeds that I had
forgotten to bag up. This is the edible amaranth that you can cook the
seeds of for eating. She has never seen it before and is intrigued by
it. I tell her I have cooked it up for eating, but that it would be
best if it could be ground to a flour.

"Sweetcorn is one of the most amazing seeds" I say to her.. "It can
store for ages and still be good to eat."

She picks up a piece of sweetcorn that looks like a tooth and tries
eating it. She spits it out. "It must be an old one that is no good"
she says.

The Maidens

I am in the bath.

Out of the window I see a group of women on a trampoline. It is hot
sunny weather and they are wearing scant clothing.

The come to the window of the bathroom and look in. They are chatting
to one another. "Is anyone in there?" "What do you think?"

"Hello!" I call. I am not sure if they have heard.

They keep pretending like they haven't seen me.

 The youngest of the women climbs through the window and steps into
the bath. She is wearing a swimming costume. The others follow her.
They are all beautiful.

Pagan Parade

I am in a pagan parade walking through town. It is a beautiful day and
people are dressed up in all their best costumes.

I am with my friend R and she is wearing a lovely costume too. I put
on a white druid like gown and my crow lady mask. On the walk I spot a
magpie walking through park dragging a big black feather.

"A raven feather!" I remark. I follow the magpie an it leads me to a
bunch of raven feathers, big, black and shiny irredesent in the light.
I collect them. I see some black mushrooms growing in the grass the
same colour as the feathers. Sat near the mushrooms are a group of
women. They have postcards with ravens on them. I go and look at the
raven postcards. They like my mask. One of the women wants to meet me
later and says that she will do. I continue on the parade.

Crying

I'm in a church, with jude, dad and a friend.

Jude and dad are in the middle of the church. They are receiving some
special healing. I feel I need healing too, so I do a yoga pose, and
it makes my friend start to cry and when she does it makes me cry.
When I cry it makes my dad and jude start to cry. The room is filled
with this healing energy that flows through us, cleansing and
purifying our hearts.

I am told to grow lots of douglas fir. I see the leaves of it and it
is like a sycamore. I say to my mum, this is sycamore, not douglas fir
but she insists it is douglas fir. She gets out an identification book
to prove to me what it is.

Dancing on top of the world...

I am down in cornwall. I am climbing up a lot of steps to get a good
view. It leads me up to the top of a building, this balcony, where I
get a really great view over the town.

Someone sees me through the window of their flat and comes out to join
me on the balcony.  We chat. AM turns up and another friend and there
are 4 of us here on the balcony.

The lady invites us into the flat and says there is an even higher
bit, right up above the flat. We go up a whole new flight of stairs
and find ourselves on top of the building, overlooking the whole town
and hills around.  It is as if we're on top of the world.

My friend Suz is up here and we dance together on top of the
world. I learn to overcome my fear of falling off the edge and in
doing so, I help others to do the same. I am now in a gymnastics team
and I am demonstrating my balance skills. I walk along banisters and
take risky jumps over stair wells. There is one jump which I miss
judge and if it weren't for the fact that I remember that its a dream,
I would have crashed to the floor below. However, my recollection of
the dream state meant that I could fly to safety.

Wetness

I with a group of women some of whom are friends and another friend
who is a guy.

One of the women has red hair. I find her very attractive, and she
also likes me too. She has been feeling down and so her
friends encourage her to get together with me so as to lift her
depression. One of her female friends pulls me into a bed with her and
her red haired friend, and my guy friend gets into the bed too. We all
cuddle and hug one another.

I end up with each of the girls on either side of me, and my hand ends
up between their thighs, and I can feel a wetness through the thin
fabric of their knickers.

Hunting Skills and School

I'm with TSK. I am telling him that I want to learn hunting skills. We
walk and talk together. I see a target and say that I need to aim at
it, and he says, "don't aim at the target, just become present.
Presence will make you accurate."

We find all these wild springs, and drink spring water together. He
has a lot of determination and power.

---

I am back at my old school. I am looking at my time table and trying
to make sense of it all but can't. Each week it feels like I am in a
whole new set of classes. Its bewildering. I can't seem to get to
where I want to get. I feel left out of the classes I want to be in,
and it is upsetting. I see the people I want to be with, and I am cut
off from their classes because I have been put into different classes.

Community Rituals

I am at my parents place. It is around christmas and instead of the
usual christmas celebrations, each family in their own home doing
their own thing, I see a whole load of people gathered in the street,
sat on little chairs in circles in the middle of the road. The road is
blocked off from end to end.

I am curious as to what is going on and so I go outside and ask
people. It turns out there has been a murder on the street and people
are gathered to say prayers and hold prayer circles for the one who
has died.

I want to show my support , so I encourage my family to come out side
to, but my mum is concerned with the personal family dinner and
doesn't want wider social things to interfere with our family
gathering. Besides, granddad is here too and he is getting on, and the
cold outside is not good for him. My mum tries to persuade my dad but
he is keen to see what is going on, and this time he decides to stay
outside and join in with the community event. We join a circle.

--
I am with Conor, and we are making electronic music. He has got a load
of new speakers and mixing equipment, and he can get really great
sounds from the equipment he has got. He has these faders that bring
the sound in and out and pan it between the different speakers.

--
I am in this big sports center. My friends are creating rituals in one
of the big rooms. We are bringing in instruments and we are creating
mandalas on the floor with rice, lining it out in beautiful
symmetrical patterns in a yantric style.

It is still christmas but we have a new character that we are doing
this for, Jesus has become old and outdated so we have a new deity to
celebrate. The music is missing a drum so I go to a room next door
where they are also creating mandalas on the floor , in combination
with dancing, and borrow a drum, and bring it back. I want to soak the
drum skin in water so as to lower the tone, because its current tone
it too high pitched to mix well with the music.

The ritual has started and I have to act fast in order to get it done.

magical flapjack

I am with my family. My dad is telling me and my brothers about this
special irish food made out of oats. It is like a cake, very
nutritious, and it has chocolate on top. It looks like flapjack, but
tastes more like cake. It is crumbly. I really want to try some, so he
gives a small bit for me and my brothers to taste. Although it is only
small it fills us up so much that we can't finish eating it. It is so
delicious. We are in ireland while we eat it.

Hard Nut to Crack..

Dad has been working on a big stone carving. Its a big bird bath or
font. He needs help lifting it up onto a new banker.

I worry it will be too heavy but when I lift it it is quite manageable.

I meet a friend, he is with his little boy.

I say that his little boy reminds me of my brother when he was little.

He says I need to become more hollow. He holds me with fierce
compassion. It shakes me up and I feel his guides with him. he
tells me I am a hard nut to crack. It is like I am receiving more of
my dark mirrors.

My brother James is playing some music. I go to join him with this playing.

Baby Badger Rescue

I am at a swimming pool/ beach / festival.

There is this area which is marshy, and there are all these badgers in it.

The badgers are being looked after and nurtured by a few people who really love badgers. Lots of new baby badgers have been born, and they have no fur and are blind and so need keeping an eye on. They are the sweetest little things you could possibly imagine. And so vulnerable!

I go into the enclosure to be with the badgers. My badger friends warn me not to get bitten by them. Badgers have very strong jaws, and when they bite, they don't let go, or so I am told. I play with these two badgers. They are quite a bit taller than I imagined badgers were, and they are perhaps morphing with deer, or goats. They are adorable. But I can see they are beginning to get quite aggressive towards me so a chill out a bit.

I come across two baby badgers getting stuck in the swamp. These seem to be more akin to moles or rats - they are tiny. I fish them out of the water and find some dry sand away from the water to place them. I notice that other people are also fishing out the badgers from the water with nets, it seems like quite a few of the baby badgers can't deal with the water situation yet.

When I am back on the sand I see a great bouncy castle, or child's play equipment, that looks so appealing. I just have to climb up this thing and jump off into the big inflatable mattress at the bottom. Lots of kids are climbing up with me , and they must think I am very childish for doing this but I don't care. It is just great fun, reliving this childhood experience.

The Orphans at Christmas.

I am climbing back to my old tree top house... I climb back to a tree that I put this tree house in years
before, I remember the route, I have to go up the cliff and climb off the cliff to the top of the tree... Its very high, at the top of a straight pine tree, 50 ft up. A friend of mine finds me and decides to come and join me , but I warn him that it is a bad idea because the tree top house can only support the weight of one person, because it is only supported by one nail, but he ignores me. The tree top house crashes to the ground and my friend breaks his back, but I am ok because I climbed to the ground down the tree trunk.

-
Its Christmas time, I am with Pete and some of the coop lot in the basement of a house. Me and Pete are singing songs together, using our voice like trumpets, singing blues songs in harmony, melodies of the soul.

The orphan children are playing on the street outside. It is dark. I see the light from their gypsy wagons, and the fire around which they cook their food. Their is a certain appeal about the way they
live, a simplicity and communal sharing attitude which attracts me, and I fall in love with the idea of living like one of them. It is sparked off by all the excess around me, the wealth and over abundance
of stuff which feels like a burden, a weight to the spirit.

As if called by our singing, these children from the orphan camp come over bringing hot baked potatoes, with cheese on, as a Christmas offering. To me it seems like the most wonderful gift, a true sign of what Christmas should be about. Here are these people who barely have enough to eat well, sharing what is most precious to them.

I see in the distance the mother of these children stood next top the fire with her colourful clothing, and she looks in our direction, with a hopeful look that we will accept her gift.  It emphasizes the contrast between our cultures; the huge wealth divide between the rich and the poor.

I gladly receive one of these potatoes, but I am the only one. My other friends are suspicious of the food. My mum is walking along and she sees I have accepted a potato from them, and warns me about it; "you should not eat food from them, it is dirty, unhealthy and contaminated" she says in a voice that echos a condescending or disproving tone.

This statement makes me so angry. I have finished my hot yummy potato now and I begin arguing with my mum, having a go at her.
 "I can't stand your prejudices toward these poor people, they have nothing and offer their food to me, their most precious thing, and we have all this wealth but cold hearts toward those who have non..."

I am very angry and sad. My mum is just repeating the ideas that were put into her as a child so I can't really blame her. Its a part of our cultural conditioning
...

When present opening comes, I open some gifts for me, one from my parents wrapped in expensive wrapping paper.  It is some books. All the books are about ecology, and caring for the earth. It seems so ironic. I can still see the price tag on the inside of one of these books, and its not cheap.
The irony is in the fact that there are all these orphan people living just round the corner, who are living embodiments of the inequality of our world, and I have these expensive books to tell me the same thing wrapped up for Christmas. I am ungrateful for the gift. I go and sit by myself and cry, thinking about my orphan friends and their gift. My tears role onto the books and spoil the shiny new pages of them.  I feel bad for not appreciating the gift from mt parents.

My mum finds me sitting by myself down stairs and comes in to start hoovering. I have to walk out, I can't stand the noise, it destroys my melancholic mood.

I go up into the sitting room to continue with the tears. My brother Joe senses I am sad and comes to join me. He stands behind me and does a strange art performance, where he holds up his hands and says " in this hand red , in this hand grey "

The colours refer to my states of mind and the different sides of my brain, the red is my left side, the right is the grey side.

The Leprechaun Palace

I am with Anne marie. And Joe. They pick up on my sadness. Am helps me to
connect to the community by playing games. She phones joe while I am
with him and talks in a pretend voice

"Can you connect me with the community?"


It is also an example of how to link people together.

I see Conor. He asks me what I have been up to. I tell him about all the seed stuff and growing stuff. He asks me , from a place of heart - "but what do you really want to do?"

--

I am back at home now and I travel Wellow with the family.

I meet Russ. I see him in Wellow. We hug and cry together. He tells me he has tried so hard. He tells me everything he has been through.  Parents leave me there with him, in a nice view spot and we sit together for a while enjoying the view.

We travel together in big van.  I talk to him, telling him that if there is still things he wants to do, he will get the opportunity to do them. He says there is so much he still wants to do. There's are all this big falen tree trunks in the way. Russ skids to a stop and I get out to help clear the tree trunks.

We drive to east side of sheffield. He is keen to keep gardening. He wants to get all these recycled materials for allotments. Pallets for making compost heaps. Loads of stuff to get and take places...  I have been here before.

We get out of van. I not got my socks on. Kids running around with barefoot over the rough concrete.
I get my shoes from van.  We look around for stuff and notice the dangerous leprechaun palace where all the leprechauns are forced to work for the old mr Capitul.

We have a new mission, we need to resuce someone from inside the Capitul palace

Quite quickly we realise we can't get in there by force. With repeated attempts we are stopped at the gate. Our vehiocle gets flat tyres, as does my bike when I try to sneek in there at night.   We have to get in there using STRATEGY.

cheese dream

Some friends have got together for a meal. There is some really tasty looking cheese on the table. It is a tasty Stilton cheese, and it was in a house full of vegans and no one was eating it, and this lady was in the house who was really skinny and saying that it was not good food... I tasted this cheese and it was the most amazing stilton I have tasted, so I proceeded to eat all the cheese myself!

And so today in waking reality , as part of living out my dream, I went out to buy some stilton, and it was great . and I got back home and ate the whole lot with raw garlic and apples... so satisfying ..