Curious relationships

I'm with Jude. We are watching a very weird cryptic film. Its a Disney
film, and it shows all these weird patterns and shapes, and objects
floating through the air, and then the camera pans back and we see
them floating inside a woman's body. There is weird abstract music
playing.

It seems like a random bit of filming with no meaning (its a part of a
kids film so its not meant to have any deep meanings, surely!?), but
my sister insists that is does have a deep meaning. She suddenly stops
the video, rewinds it to the beginning of the weird bit with the
floating objects and declares that its about the female womb
development phases, and the changes that go on internally at puberty.
We watch the video and she points out that all the shapes of the
objects that are floating around are womb shaped - they have this
triangular shape, and these bits which are like ovaries and fallopian
tubes. At first I think its a bit of an assumption about an abstract
bit of disney film but then I realise that she's got a point. Once you
view this film from this perspective it takes on a whole new meaning.
Now weather its a clever bit of brainwashing developed by disney to
get girls to think about their bodies in a particular way is still
speculative, but the suggestiveness of the video really can't be
doubted now. (Or at least that's what my sister reckons).

-

I'm with this girl. She has been hanging out with me these past few
days, because I have been helping her walk home from school safely.
Her friends think she is a bit weird because she has been hanging out
with me. She has a crush on me but at first I am unaware of this.

We talk about physical attraction. She wants to know what I find
attractive, so that she can model herself on it as she gets older.
She points out her friends to me when we are at school,  and she
talks about how unattractive "girls" are, as opposed to "women". She
says "look at them, they are like children, only more annoying..."

I agree with her. All her friends are still mentally like children,
and despite the fact that they have got breasts and have hit the
sexual phase in life, they are not mentally adults.  I'm not quite
sure why she talks like this as clearly she is one of them. (If
anything, she is a bit behind most of her friends physically, but she
does have a bit more common sense than her friends). We conclude;
girl-kids/kid-girls at this stage in life are mostly bitchy, foolish,
yappy and annoying, and don't have much common sense.

She then talks to me about her family. Her father has a crush on her
and has been taking pictures of her naked and putting them on an
internet website, where he has lots of photos of young girls. She
actually doesn't mind this, she tells me, but then again, I think that
she is foolish and immature. She actually finds older men a lot more
attractive (she even tells me she has a bit of a crush on her father,
not as much as she used to, but its still there), and I realise now
why she has been hanging out with me, because she has a crush on me.

She shows me her fathers website. I see all these pictures of her, and
girls around her own age, (perhaps her friends) and young girls having
sex with old men. I get the impression that her father is a sex addict.
Perhaps actually he is just a big kid who has never grown up in his
mind, and so is still on a similar level consciously to these girls
(or lower), but then who am I to judge, I've not even met him. I've
just seen his website. He is actually quite proud of his family, and
his website isn't solely dedicated to naked girls and old hairy sex
obsessed men. He has these pages about times he went on holiday with
his family, to beautiful places, and traveled in the wild and went
camping.

 -

We are now back with her friends again, and I am being ridiculed for
hanging out with her. They think I am like her father, and don't want
to see me with her. I realise that I haven't given them the
intelligence they deserve. They all have a keen intuition, and can see
through me, as though they were psychic. They know I find her
attractive. They think she is a slut and me a pervert.

My friend however is not bothered about what her friends think of her.
She is only concerned with what I think of her, and what my
motivations to sex are; what I find attractive and what I want from a
sexual relationship.

Scouting for land, and Giant Floods.

I am flying over portugal, and seeing the land below me, a bit like
google satellite. I am looking for good bits of land. I have the
ability to fly low enough to see the houses and the trees (a bit like
google satellite ) and also go up really high. I am drawn to this bit
of land between 2 bits of woodland, and between 2 towns in the north.
It is almost right on the boarder with north spain. I need to go here.
There are yurts here.

--
I am shown a period from history, relating to hungary. There are giant
floods in france and hungary and it is washing all the soil away. I am
living through these floods and it is chucking down buckets of rain
every day, until there are rivers as wide as mountain sides, which
torrent over everything, taking out buildings, trees, eroding soil. I
am told that this flooding is caused because of the war. Mother earth
has sent flooding to wash away all the fighting and bloodshed. She is
weeping torrents of tears to purge herself of the pain.


-----


I am finding loads of medicinal and edible mushrooms. Matake is the main one i am finding.

_--

The otter who lives by the church

I'm with adam and liz.

We have found this really interesting place. I think its in sheffield
but it might be somewhere else in the uk.

There are two churches in alignment with each other and an old
building in between. Its an older part of the city, a place which is
quite magical and because all these modern buildings have been built
around them, they have been 'lost' or forgotten about, except to a few
people who still know.

There are these really big ponds in the grounds of one of the
churches (the main one). In the ponds lives an otter. He has made his
home here because there is such a large number of fish in the ponds.
He has even made friends with some of the people who walk by the pond,
by catching fish for them in exchange for company and treats. (He has
been a little bit lonely recently). I walk by one of these ponds
(there are a few, connected by little streams) and otter turns up and
starts throwing fish out of the pond onto the path beside me. He
catches this one enormous fish, way bigger than his own body, and
drags it out onto the path and dumps it right beside me and a few
passers by.

 We marvel at this fish. I am thinking about eating it, but don't take
it because the passers by may want to take it. We watch the otter
more, his sleek body darting about in the water. The supreme fisher.

Otter gets more fish and deposits them on the path. I am now sure that
he wants us to take them. I start putting on in my bag, but adam says
that back home we already have lots of fish in the freezer. I take it
anyway because fresh fish is always better than frozen. They look so
tasty!

The friend who lives on the edge of the cliff

I've got a friend who lives on the edge of a cliff. There is always
the risk of falling off. To get to his house you have to climb down
the first bit of cliff and find this flat bit which has a cave at the
back. He has built a wall over the entrance to the cave making it into
a comfortable home.

There are some trees growing out of the side of the cliff. If you are
careful, you can climb down the trees and make your way down the
cliff.

I try to climb down the cliff but the wind picks up and blows me off.
I then remember its a dream, and so find myself back on the cliff. I
talk to my friend about this being a dream place. We talk about what
the cliff means, regarding the fact that you can't "fall" off it for
real.

------

a mix of themes... sex, ancestry, curses, ecocide, crow houses, teachers

i meet this woman who has a child to an ex partner. We sit and chat,
and I realise how hard it is for her, working constantly for her
child. I try to sympathize with her, but know that at the end of the
day she just wants a man around who can help her to look after her
child, so that on some days she can have a proper lye in.

I hang out with her for a while and end up climbing into bed together.
We get very close, and we want to have sex, but I have not got any
condoms on me, so I run off to get them. I have to be really quiet in
my movements, as all the adults are around, and we don't want people
to know what we are up to. I bump into this kid in my haste, nearly
knocking him over and then realise I am back in my old school, notre
dame, and the art teachers are in the corridor in front of me and I
walk carefully behind them.



------



I meet a second cousin and we begin discussing our common ancestry. We
discuss about how hard it is to understand who's who, because our
great grandfather had over 30 first cousins.

---

I discover a curse from the past - 'judge not lest ye be judged' -
used in context with photographs, - connected to nstone. - rich.


-----

Someone is taking land and destroying it, it is our land, the land we
have lived on. We escape off our land because if we don't we will be
killed.

 ___

And I come across some robots in a field. They have been put here to
scare off the crows, (a tin scarecrow) n they r doing a good job about
it.

But the farmer innovates and builds a big crow house for them to all
live in, and then begins to farm them when they get too many.

-----

I am at a festival like place. There are big tents and people running
workshops. I am meant to be running a workshop on herbs and herbal
medicine, but no one turns up, so I just burn some incense and get on
with doing my own stuff. I catch the end of a talk lady who is
teaching people how to be more flirtatious in their language. She is a
relationships counselor specializing in sexual relationships. She
shows people techniques to increase the desire and sexual fulfillment
in relationships that have gone a bit stale, or lost the fire.    One
of my female friends is really inspired by her.

John

I am with john.

He has been heavily drinking.

We are up near his flat. I say that I will hang out with him as long
as he doesn't end up getting himself arrested. He says to me that he
can hold it together, but I'm not so sure.

He stumbles on a bank, trips, rolls down the bank and smacks his head
on one of the neighbours wall with a thud. Me and another friend (I
think it is jimmy or mat cheeseman) run down to check he is ok, and I
tell him I am phoning an ambulance. He has semi concussion- he can
still make out some words, but his talking has become like a baby and
he can't stand up.  There is no one in the house which he banged his
head on.

Soon an ambulance arrives with a police car. I don't know what the
police are doing here but I guess that some other neighbours  phoned
up them because of a loud drunken person outside their house acting
very strange.

I wave them over and lead them to john. I hold him and help him to sit
up so that he can talk to them.

He has a go at the police, as expected...
"Sen ya tin, Ii gi ya fa. Say ya da, wot ya doin ere?"

"They've come to help you john"

He calms down a bit,
"Well,  you need a good ting if ya, if ya gona, if ya gona do that,
do, be in that position, ya know what am sayin... Ya know what am
sayin.. aaahh"

The police don't get any more word out of him and the ambulance people
get him into the back of the ambulance and drive off.

kokopelli (perhaps?)

This guy who looks likes me gets arrested, because the undercover
police are after me and mistake him for me. I feel really sorry for
him, so as soon as the police find out that its not me, I find him and
buy him a drink and apologize.

------

I meet this guy who has an enormous penis.
I mean, this thing is bigger than he is, it just grows and grows, like
the trunk of a tree. He is a presenter on a TV show, and occasionally
he gets an erection, and there's no way of hiding it so he makes it a
part of the show. He describes the stages of it, and the different
ways to masturbate as this tower rises up between his legs.

Songs and singing

-I hear a song, an old jazz record playing. Its a beautiful female
voice like ella fitzgerald, and she is singing a slow song,
melancholic, yet also hopeful,

"Whatever, whatever, whatever will be...

The futures not ours to see...

----


I hear my friend singing. She has a beautiful voice. (At
first I think she has put on a cd, it surprises me to find out its
her!) She is singing her own name, and its as if she is literally
singing to 'herself'.

Houses, homes, travel.

I am traveling on my bike through a new landscape. It is exciting as I am exploring these really beautiful hills and valleys. I come to the top of a valley and look down over a little village. It is getting late, and dark, and I know that this is where I will spend the night, but I don't know where I will sleep, but I trust I will find somewhere.

I quickly come across this beautiful self -build house, and notice that it has a load of beautiful barns and I think that I can spend the night in there. I notice that there are some people about so I stop to ask them if I can stay.


--------


I have found a new place to live, it is near Brambles, the housing co-op where pete and oli and daniele are living. It is a house a bit like a housing co-op too.

--------

babies

I have to rescue a baby that has been suffocating. My mum got my
attention to it because she is very in touch with babies but she can't
do soul retrieval work so she came to me. I find the baby almost dead,
its very distressing, and the baby has gone completely green coloured
all over. Its quite a dark green. It looks like an alien baby because
of it, and the skin is all wrinkled and it doesn't move. I manage to
get to it just in time, and bring back some soul. I give it to my mum
now to look after. My mum (after making some comments about the colour
of the child) then passes me another baby. This one is also in need of
some healing but not as bad as the first one. It is also a green
colour but this time its a paler green.

-------------

I am with a friend who is pregnant and nearly due.

I am able to communicate with the baby in the womb, not in words, but
I can see her/him in there moving and its like I have got xray eyes.

I am given some information about learning to witness the progression
of the development of a baby from fetus to birth, and have been given
information as to the mothers relationship to their baby and how their
feelings change and develop as the baby hits certain phases of
development. I am shown how at first its as if the mother just has an
extension to her own body, (fetus stage) and as it slowly develops and
becomes more "independent" of the mother, the woman starts to feel
like she is carrying something that is connected to her, but not all
from her.

And at the final stage, after the birth when the umbilical cord is
cut, this separation is key to the soul of the baby arriving, as now
the mother is sure that the baby is not a part of her anymore and is
him/her self an individual human being like everyone else. It is in
some ways the mothers decision as to when the soul comes to enter her
baby, as it is different with everyone and it is linked to the mothers
beliefs. ( In a way the baby shares the mothers soul as it develops,
so if the baby dies there is no psycopomp work to be done, but
potential soul retrieval work for the mother).  But for most women,
the soul enters the baby when it is either very close to birth, or
when the umbilical cord is cut.

I am told how powerful a mothers feelings are for their children, and
the significant hormonal shifts that occur during and after pregnancy
that ensure that the right body shifts occur like producing milk.

----

I am now in this party. Its a party with mostly women.  I am looking to try my luck
finding someone to dance with, but I don't seem to be achieving. However various
women are offering me the answers to many of my questions, (all the
women do divination, and are psychics at this party!). but I find
a girl who only offers me the answer to one question, and somehow this
attracts me so much more than answering all of them because I think it must be a special answer.
 Instead of talking she sings and through singing lures me in, and I get caught like a fly in a spiders web. 
She asks me what my question is. (She was actually a little annoyed that I
found her here as this was her secret space, but as I had found her,
she allowed me to ask a question for her to divine).

Whilst hanging out with her, two more women come to join us, and then
some more, and suddenly I am surrounded by women. (And really enjoying
myself!).

And then this guy turns up who says he is going to perform this song
and a number of the women leave to go and watch the performance, which
is a bit annoying because one of these is my divination friend, who
has not finished answering my question due to the distractions. Still,
I follow to the gig, which ends up not happening, and so I wander on
to explore more of the party.

Death

At first its just a game but then its for real...


We are playing a shooting /catching game in my friends house. I have
to get past these people an get to "base" without getting caught which
basically means not getting seen.

And all of a sudden we are in the real world. I am walking along the
street and I have some cash in my hand. A couple of guys ahead of my
see the cash and start following me, and somehow I merge with this Ray
meers like survival guy, and I have a task not only to get away from
the people trying to rob me but also to get through the high security
area which involves achieving the impossible.

 If I get past the guards along the way (who all have machine guns) I
can get to my axis mundi and escape, but it involves basically being
invisible and I have not mastered that skill (yet!).

I have to try something though. I take the middle route and get up
almost as far as the guard and yet he sees me and shoots me dead in an
instant. If I had got to him, I don't know what I would have done ,
perhaps try attacking him with my little knife, pretty pointless I
know, but you gota try something.
---

When I wake, I imagine this is what being in the trenches must have
felt a bit like. No way out but death.

themes... power, magic, music, chicken.

My friend has discovered some hidden books from the old testament.
They have never been made public because they are all about magic,
spells, divination and occultism.

She is very pleased that she has found them.

 ----

I am getting told off by my mum, because of various things I have been
doing in the garden.

I find a chicken, or the chicken finds me, and the chicken talks to
me, and stares me in the face with an intense gaze that penetrates
right through me to my core, a fierce compassion . This is a power
chicken.

 I am trying to practice the piano, to play some jazz songs really
well, but simon, my little brother is climbing over the piano (he is
about 5 years old in this dream) and distracting me constantly. I have
to yell at him to stop.

Oscar

Oscar has come back.

I and everyone else had thought that he had died, but here he is. He looks a bit thin and bedraggled, but he's alive and well.

Its so joyful to see him again. I pick him up and give him a cuddle. His fur is soft and grubby. The white patches have become more mottled brown, and he is warm. Marie gives him some food and we celebrate his return.

Missing people...

Dear clan, thankyou...

"No no no, express your true self."

Been too quiet, no one listening, I need to make my voice heard,

"Clan, I have never felt so depressed, so worn out, so lonely, so sad.
I miss .., I feel like I am wasting my time here, I don't feel I
belong, I don't know where I belong, I still feel pain in my chest and
Been told
 - letter - digital - shows lots of words, photos, animations of
what she's been up too, visiting sacred sites with her family -
ladders, stones, ladders, stones. ...

I watch the whole digital letter, I see she has been making a new book
with illustrations, which she has been making with her new boyfriend,
and it looks really great.


It is sad seeing it too, because I feel like I would like to make a
book with her. I feel like I would like to be in another culture
experiencing all these new things.

Now there is this big gathering I am at. Its a spontaneous gathering
and people are being asked to play music. A friend who is a singer is
asking me what jazz songs I still know on the piano, and I have to
think really hard, I haven't played any jazz for ages, and I miss it!
I really want to play 'aint misbehaving' by fats waller!



Flumptuous

Conor gig, rob playing too,

An you aint got no rhythm
Unless it bleed you


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