A few bits of dreams: sculpture, and traveling again in shropshire.

I'm with pip, in a sculpture class. She is going round the different
sculptors and giving advice on form and shape.

When she comes to me she looks at my jumper which is my stripy white
red and blue jumper and says, "unpredictable, just like you".  I
notice there is no pattern to the stripes, no order.

-

I am in wellow and the wood pigeons have taken over. I see loads of them flying around in the garden. One of them comes up really close to me and seems to be saying to me, "well come on, aren't you going to shoot me and eat me?"

-

I am cycling in Shropshire again. I am going to visit eric gills
sculpting studio. He has set up somewhere along an isolated track, all
the way in the middle of nowhere. There are a number of young
sculptors working for him now, so I am keen to get the stimulation of
more artistic influence.  I meet eric, and then I think, hey wait a
minute, didn't you die years ago?

And then I think it must be his son I have met who has kept the family
business going. He takes me to this area in the garden where 3 people
are sat round a table, 2 women and a man, all fairly young, about my
age. I sit down and listen to their conversations about sculpture.
-


I see new people have taken on the allotment at the top of hagg lane.
A couple - a guy a and a girl. We get a load of people to help them
clear it.

-

I'm with Conor, we are playing music.

-

"The rings that you were bonded with are a part of who you are" - a
random voice in my head.

Ancestors

I'm with all my grandparents. I can see them vividly, and yet I know I am dreaming.

Its so nice to be able to see them again. It gives me great hope and joy. I can see my Grandmother Anne smiling, and happy. I can hear the mbira music playing in the background, and I know now why this music is used to get in touch with the ancestors.

The Rebelion

I am in a university somewhere like Oxford or Cambridge. (I think its one of these because the architecture is so grand and oppressive and impressive).

I am in a science class. (I think its science because its all about rational thinking.) We are preparing for exams, and I have been in the bad books with my teachers because I don't write the answers that they want to hear. I can't help my brain from thinking about things my own way and then writing about it the way I think about it.

I am now in the exam. There is this one question, (i wish I could remember what it was...) that was clearly written in a way so that you if you gave anything but the black and white answer you would get it wrong (most of the questions were like this..) and it made me feel so angry that things were so black and white that I wrote in big letters across the paper, something like "you want me to say this.... but you can't exclude peoples feelings out of the answer, because feelings are real too."

I then went on to answer any other question that annoyed me with a similar kind of attitude, and wrote from my heart exactly what I thought about each question in turn.

When I got the exam marks back, I had failed. They had gone even further than failing me.  They gave me the paper back, and each page which I had written on emotionally written (poetically written) answers, they had taken out entirely.

I started to go into a rage. I started yelling and screaming random noises, releasing a possessive spirit that felt trapped inside me. I was spinning in circles in the big hall, and coughing and spluttering out garbled sounds which scared the people around me. I had a divided attention. I was aware that I was looking quite crazy to onlookers, and thought to myself that if I didn't sort out my behaviour, I ran the risk of getting myself locked up.

I decided to try to find my way outside, because once outside, the fresh air and green might calm me down. I had to get out of here, this soul destroying prison both internally and externally.

I eventually found my way into a room where Christopher Mason was. He was part of a Christian group, and they welcomed me in, but I took no notice of them. I found my way to a door, and was then out in the open air.

 I calmed down.

 I tried to get out of the grounds, but the gates were locked. There was hundreds of people walking about, and they were annoying me, I felt over crowded and hemmed in.

I needed to think of another plan, so I came up with the idea to disguise myself as a stone statue, to act a stone statue and then no one would notice me, and I would have fun trying to do it. I took my top off, and was then wearing just shorts. I found someone working in stone, and got a load of stone dust off them and started throwing it all over me and rubbing it on my skin , so that I had a stoney colour.

I stood very still by one of the pillars and waited. It started to work, as people noticed me less and less, and my awareness expanded, and I calmed down.

Music, Friends, Sculpture.

I meet Stella Chiweshe.

Its really cool. She plays music even better than when she is on you
tube, and she is really great fun.

She sings this song about her and her lover, (who my friend robert
plays the part, because he really fancies her,) and in the song the
lover sucks her tits and becomes transformed into a baby. The song is
about the different forms of love, and how a lovers love becomes a
babies love.

She has an awesome presence in my dream, she sits naked and plays
music and has this ability to see right through you, to ones own
nakedness. (As I'd imagine all spirit mediums could do if they wanted
to).

 She plays a game with us as well as singing songs. Its basically
rolling down the hill. We are at the top of a high grassy slope and we
are rolling down it like you do. I don't want to roll down the slope
mainly because I am feeling lazy, and don't want the walk all the way
back up, but some of my friends are literally chucking them selves
down like the people in the cheese rolling competitions do. (One of my
friends, robert the out going one, gets really quite injured, and
needs some medical care after his bumps ! )

-

I am at one of my sculpture exhibitions in bath. I have sold
sculptures to people and I feel loads better for it.

Rosa has driven out to see the sculpture exhibition in her little car,
which is not so little. I can fit in it as well and she drives me back
home afterwards.  Its an automatic electric thing which, even though
she's only just got it and isn't registered to drive yet, is allowed
on the road becuase its automatic and will drive you where you need to
go on its own. I'm quite jealous.

The Tiger in the Garden

I'm going out in the car to have a day learning about tropical farming.

In Wellow there was a tiger in the garden , it was just a baby one,
and so it wasn't dangerous, and what was strange about it was that it
was in the place where the yurt was but it had died. It had been
killed by a sparrow hawk.

I'm with this friend pointing out to her the sparrow hawk with its
claws on the dead tiger cub. How on earth did this tiger cub get here? we wonder.

Hidden in the shadows was the mummy tiger, large and powerful. She
pounces on us, unaware, and I catch her stripes out of the corner of
my eye just in time to be able to protect me and my friend. The tigers
jaws catch on my friends leg, but I grab my friend and spin her round
in the air, with the tiger still attached to her foot, and bash the
tigers head on the head of one of the sculptures and kill the tiger.

We have such a fright that everywhere we go we are on the lookout for
tigers now.

-

I'm wandering through the park.

Its dusk.

I leave my bike by these buildings and go and explore the bushes and
undergrowth.

I find I find a yurt, its late at night now, its around mid summer and
the following day is going to be a special open day in the park so I
want to be around for that. I decide to sleep in the yurt, but I've
forgotten my bike and think people might steal it so I get up very
early in the morning to find it.

There are already people up wandering the park. I hear the beautiful voice of this female singer who I have been listening to on my headphones. Its such an amazing coincidence that she is walking through the park on this day, when I am around to hear her, that I go to find her to listen and tell her what a wonderful voice she has.

I find her. She has dreadlocks and is dressed in hippy like clothing. I tell her I love her voice and she thanks me, and walks on by. I don't know what else to say, and think to follow her (i quite fancy her) when I catch the eye of a girl walking by with some friends, who I have not seen in many years who I used to fancy at secondary school. Her name is Rebecca. Its such a one off chance that she is here so I go to find her in the crowds to say hi.

-

I'm with another friend now walking through the park. After telling this
friend the story about the tiger in Wellow she does not want to go anywhere off
the path. You just don't know what might be lurking in the bushes.

We are in a busy place , there are lots of people around an so she
feels safe within the crowds. We have these two trolleys, which have
all our stuff on. Hers is a little one but mine is a great big
trolley.

I get bored and frustrated pushing my trolley, especially as it keeps
getting in the way of people and bashing into them so I let it go and
wander on, until my friend says, 'where's our stuff?' And I feel
obliged to go and get it back, which I do. The people in the crowds
are quite friendly and have been looking after it for us.

-

We find ourselves at a cricket match. One of the batsman is smacking
the ball for 4's and 6's. Its very entertaining. What is more
interesting is that I can predict when he's going to hit a big one
because I see it in my minds eye just before he does.

The secret way back home

I'm in Manchester. I am finding the right cycle root back over the peaks to Sheffield.

I meet a council guy on his bike while cycling up the hill, and he recognises me. We chat.

He knows my dad and we talk for a long while. He tells me he is cycling back to sheffield, and so we take a route that is familiar to him which he has cycled many times. Its a nice route, he says, which leads through an old organic garden.

We cycle for a number of hours up into the hills. When we get to the old wood, just before the organic garden I am surprised that I recognise it from when I was little. The same trees and paths.

And here is the place where we go into the old organic farm land, i think. It all comes back to me. I see where chard and wild mushrooms grow all over the place just for the picking. I grab a bunch of chard to cook when I get home.

-

I'm now in Sheffield and have a few miles to travel before getting back to my home.

I decide to take a short cut. I cut between these flats and climb down the long drain pipe which was familiar to me as a kid. I meet an old lady.

" You must be the building surveyor." she says to me.

I'm surprised that she doesn't think I'm a robber, or thief.

Theirs a party going on in the house in the garden that I am in.

Lots of people are dressed up, as if for a wedding. I feel very much the odd one out.

I recognise this woman who I met at a festival helping out with the kids.

She recognizes me an knows that I'm not really meant to be here, but neither is she so we both keep our secrets.

We play this skidding game across a dance floor, its really slidey and skiddy and
smooth, so me and this woman are kind of ice skating all around the room and all the
kids are joining in.

The initiation

I'm with a large bunch of friends and people my own age and we have
arrived at the place where you get initiated.

There's this old lady dressed in elaborate costumes who looks a bit
like a fortune teller. She greets us and selects out of our group
three people who will help her with the initiations.

We don't exactly know what the initiation will do or where it will
lead us but we have all come out of curiosity. We are young adults
entering into a new phase of life and this initiation is symbolic of
stepping forwards: a rite of passage.

The three who have been selected out go through the initiation first and come back dressed in costumes. They become the guides to the old lady. Their costumes are very weird, they look like telly tubbies or something. (all one needs to put one off going through!)

Now we all line up in groups, and each group of about 5 or 6 goes
forward to meet the old lady and she then leads people through the
doorway one by one, asking each participant weather they are willing
to step into the unknown, and through the doorway. Once they have
stepped through changes will happen in their lives that will be
irreversible and there will be no going back once the initiation has
taken place.

Our group goes forwards eagerly and James smith, who stands in front of me is next to go up.

He is nervous and when he is called forwards and asked the questions

"Is it in your will, James smith  to go forwards through the door of
initiation, and step into the unknown and to embrace what may lie through this door?"

He steps back and has doubts. A lot of conversation follows between james and the old lady, and I start to think that he will not go through, that its not in his wishes.

The odd people on the side help him out.

One of them says something which makes him change his mind at the last minute

"For me this was a necessary step, I know its your own decision, but I am so glad that I did this."

This changes his mind, and he goes through the door and now its my turn.

All of a sudden I realise that I need to go to the garden. People think that I have chickened out of the initiation, but I just wanted to pick something in the garden. I come back sure enough, and go through the door without any hesitation, completely naked, with a big shining sword in my hands.

-

After the initiation everything has changed.

 I'm in this big house with lots of rooms. Its like a community building with lots of rooms. In one of the rooms I can hear a load of singing. These are Christian melodies I am hearing, but the words, they are all pagan. Its as if the Christians were all turned into pagans after getting initiated.

Chi

I'm in this Buddhist meditation place, and I am asking this one Buddhist monk if he knows about people who can use chi as a combat tool. He is giving a massage to one of the elder Buddhists and asks him to answer my question. He looks like one of those pot bellied monks, and he says yes, after many many years of training and disciplined practice, it is possible to send people from one end of
the room to the other in combat, where they are using not just the force of the blow but directing chi energy straight into the body. It is very rare for someone to be able to do this though.

Kinky games, singing in Choir.

I'm in this unusual role play with a guy and a girl. The girl is the
boss, she is doing this kinda massage, and also kinda kinky bondage
play. She gives directions, and asks me to pull my trousers down and
lie on the bed face down so my bum is exposed to them. Its a game and
its funny and kinda weird but kinda fun too.

-

I'm in church, and preparations are being planned for mass, and I'm
going to be singing in the choir. We are rehearsing. I'm singing loud
tones, singing the sounds of my soul parts, calling in power, long
loud and high tones which fill me up. When the songs are rehearsed I
sit separate to get different view and to write things down that are
going on. We are all wearing long robes.