Mustaches

Me and my close friend are lying in bed, and we are both flirting with this girl, who comes to join us in bed. I find out that she is a "not that distant" cousin, and now it doesn't feel right to be flirting with her, but my friend, he carries on flirting while I watch.

--

I am at a meal with lots of Sheffield friends. P, O, F, D, S, everyone. This old lady says that I am responsible for getting all the women in our group into growing mustaches. I don't know what she's on about. One of my female friends says, "yes, look closer! We all have mustaches now, and its because of your influence!". I look, and well I can hardly call them mustaches, but there is some semi invisible hair on the upper lips of most of the women here. OK, maybe a mustache of a sorts.

I am also responsible , the old lady says, for influencing everyone into back garden composting, but this doesn't seem quite so important a thing to her a mustaches. I feel quite pleased if this is the case. I tell her that I think everyone should compost, and she thinks this is quite a radical perspective, but I think its perfectly normal. "Everyone?" She says. "Yes, everyone", I say casually.

We sit down to eat some food. We have a vegan option and a meat option. The meat option includes this meat mince of beef, and the vegan option includes this pretend meat, that I'm not sure what its
made from.  I don't particularly want the meat, but I don't particularly want the strange substitute meat that could be just about anything either. I end up going for the vegan option as that's what
most of my friends are eating.