no trowsers dream

I am in new roots.

I'm getting ready to leave sheffield,

Im preparing my stuff

Ruth is around.

We hug before I go. Too short. She looks different somehow.
She has the look of the goddess in her eyes.

I get my bike into community bus. I traveling back with my bike. The
lady in the bus is very friendly

Ive forgot to put on my trousers. She says there is time, I go back to
look for some but I can't find any. Joe gives me some. I get back to
the bus and we leave.

chinese new year

I have gone on a retreat with a whole load of people - friends, mostly
around my own age, but also a real mix.

I need to take myself away for a few days- I will be brought food. - I
am locked in this little compartment, and in about 2 or 3 days, I will
be let out. Its frustrating because I can hear the others talking. I
explore my compartment, there are a few rooms to it, and in the back
room which opens onto the garden is this old man with a dog. I'm
surprised to see them, and pleased as I thought I was here o my own.
The dog smiles at me, and I can honestly say I have never seen a dog
smile like that. "Look" I say to the old man, "at that smile he has!!" (only later do i think it must have been a dragon, not a dog! )

I'm back with the others. We are making signs, and art work. I have
been making something, which I am now going to put sandpaper on. Then
we are going to do some group singing.

the Giant Spinning top (part 2 )

I am in a playground and john is here with me. This woman gives me a
challenge - to spin this giant spinning top all the way round the
playground in one throw. Its an epic challenge, but I am feeling bold
and confident. I want to impress her and john with my talents.

Just as I'm about to throw, these rude boys turn up, and want to pick
a fight on me. They want to rob my giant spinning top off me. I must
throw it before they do. I can't properly fight them while I am still
holding it, but if I throw it in a distracted state I will never
achieve the goal the woman set me.

I wrestle with these two rude boys.

I never get round to throwing this spinning top.

Now I'm in a different dream. I am making a plant pilgrimage up to
scotland. I was told in a dream to come to this place just on the
boarders of scotland, and so I arranged a van to take me and a whole
load of allotment people, mostly older guys, up to the boarders. When
we get there, we get a message to go further up, so we continue our
drive, until we can drive no more. Now we get out and walk, as far as
me can up these mountains. I get ahead of everyone, as I am fit and
healthy. I scout out the ground before hand, checking the direction.
Its getting muddy, and people are wanting to turn back. Its raining
hard and cold. We come to some refuge between the mountains, and we
warm up and recover our strength before starting out again.

Now I'm back in sheffield, in a pub. This is the drinks before going
out part of the night. I get a text from R saying to come a visit her,
so I finnish mt drinks and start to make my way. On route I get
distracted and bump into trouble. I'm in a club of some sort....I was
asking for trouble in my mind as I secretly wanted it, but now I
realise I don't, but I have to deal with it. These mean hearted guys
are out for a fight and want to rob me. I change my intent -'I intend
to find my friend'... To my surprise my friend appears in the corner
of the room as if by magic. The mean guys have gone. This friend now
begins to escort me to R's house. We have to go through these
buildings with locks to get there. I bump into A and we have a really
interesting conversation about relationships. Its all about how even
when you really love someone, and want to be with them, you will still
find other people attractive. We speak about people we know falling in
and out of love, and how we are all trying to find satisfaction on so
many levels, both sexually and non sexually, and how it can be
unrealistic to find that all in one person.

One of the locks we cannot open. I manage to find a way through, as if
some old memory reminded me of the code. Now I try to show A the code
but it doesn't work with him. Thankfully someone has come to let him
out. We are through the building and now there is some kind of fair on
the grass that we wander round. There are gazebos with merchandise for
sale under. We wander round in the sunshine.

choking

I need to get to this special healing spot, in the woods. Before I can
get there I have to go through the swamp. As I wade through the
shallows, I get the feeling like this is a special initiation. I leave
some of my stuff behind, and take off my jumper as I don't want it to
get muddy. When I put it down by this tree, I see this strange slimy
growth in the swamp by the tree that moves, and covers my jumper in
mud. All of a sudden this choking invisible gas rises from the swamp,
and I can't breathe. I gasp for breath and wake up.

an inbetween kind of dream..

I'm on a sofa, under blankets, lying next to H, I get an erection, and
I think she notices, but her boyfriend is there, and yet she wants to
secretly feel my erection so she uses her feet to pleasure me.
I think her boyfriend finds out, as we are all inter tangled on this
sofa, and its hard to tell who is who sometimes. And I think he gets
mad with me so I keep out of the way.

I was back at Ashton lodge, we were just finishing off a long day or
work, and one of us had had to drop out, and go and lie down.

The work we were doing involved more theatre. I remember there was
this bed we needed to lie on, while others did healing around us
involving props, and blankets and things to make the space healing. We
had to go one at a time.

I leave to check on the lady who had to drop out. There are these 2
lads I bump into who also need a bit of direction, so I give one of
them a mars bar, and tell them some things to do.

--

sleep paralysis

What happened? Where am I? why can't I move?
Oh god! I can barely breathe! My mouth won't open, and my nose is
blocked! It feels like my head will explode! Will I die?

Help help help! I'm crying out internally.
HELP!!! I don't want to die!

Panic runs through me from head to foot. I manage to just about open
my eyes.. I can see a dull yellowy orange light off to my left. Just
keep calm I tell my self. Listen to your heart beat. I can hear my
heart beat racing... Or is it going really slowly? It hard to tell.
Its still going though and that's the main thing. Keep your attention
on the beating of your heart I tell my self. It feels like my brain is
starved of oxygen. I'm sure this is what it happening.. That's why I
can't move. If I can only open my mouth just a tiny bit I will be able
to breathe better.

Few! I've opened a tiny crack at the side of my mouth. And with this a
tiny bit of strength comes back, enough to move a tiny amount and see
a bit more of my suroundings.. Am I in the shed in wellow? I wonder.
What's that orangey light? Did I leave a candle burning?

I'm realizing now that this is yet again another experience of sleep
paralysis... Oh god, why is this still happening to me I wonder?


I must be in my shed in wellow..

It feels like I'm in the process of having an epileptic fit or
something similar. Far too much activity is going on in my brain to
call this normal.

The panic of going to die has gone, but I can't really move yet. I
just stay focused on my breathing and my beating heart, and wait for
the energy to return. Slowly I manage to open my mouth more, and get
more air. What a relief! I am in my shed in wellow. It looks like I
left a candle burning! Maybe a good thing I woke up! I would not have
wanted to burn my shed down! .. Wait a minute.. No, I'm not in wellow.
I didn't sleep in wellow last night. I slept in adam and liz's house
in walkey. And that orangey glow is the lamp from the street.

st ives market

I'm at a market by the sea in st ives. I'm helping out this girl I
like who is running a stall selling crafty things. She asks me to go
and buy some fish. Its wintertime, but there is still lots of good
fresh fish for sale. She wants me to buy salmon, and I want to buy
mackerel. I also plan to forage for some muscles.

On the way to get fish, I get distracted by wanting to get this sunset
view. It involves climbing up this little hill, and then up a ladder,
right to the top. The walk is a song, the rungs of the ladder
different notes to a tune. There are other people up here with me,
waiting for the sun to set. A little boy wants help climbing down from
the ladder so I help him.

Occupy Sheffield Dream

Dream

Occupy sheffield

We are all heading down to the city center, as there is some important
event going on.

Something for everyone, that's the idea for this event... I am
attracted to the free workshops, music and healing.

I meet Ruth, she is on a motorbike, a red one. We set off together for
the city center.

When we get there, there is a big football match just starting up. I
get involved. Something seems odd about the football pitch... One of
the other players tells us that its a new football pitch.." It never
used to be here, under neath this grass and soil is an old waste tip.
Rubble and junk. They decided to cover it with a layer of top soil and
turn it into a football pitch. In places the soil is only a few inches
thick."

I leave playing football for a while and decide to go and see the
herbalist who has set up stall for the day. The queue is really long,
so I don't stay in it. There is too many other things I want to see.

There is a band playing on a stage and people are dancing to the
music. The sound system they have got is really good, and you can hear
everything really clearly.

This band are quite good, but when they finish, some DJ comes on who
plays some really bad tunes. Its so bad that at the end of one song I
get really angry and want to break something... I notice how the music
has a powerful effect on my emotions. This lady stood next to me also
notices how it effects her emotions too, also invoking an angry
response in her too.

We find this a bit weird, like we have been brainwashed or something,
so we wander away from the dark energy music, but just as we do, I
hear a voice that sounds familiar. Its Bobby Mcferren!

He is doing a solo vocal performance, and very few people are taking
notice of him. I am so impressed that I get up close to try to video
him performing. He notices me trying to catch him on film, and hands
me the mic and says "tell the people who I am"

I get all tense and nervous being put on the spot, and forget what his
name is, .. "Bobby mcferren" I hear someone whisper to me. "Taby
mcfaran" I say, confused, down the microphone.

Its turns a few faces, and now he starts to do performance based upon
his Shakespeare training. He talk about this special posture that old
english actors were expert in, and proceeds to demonstrate this. Its
all to do with the angle of the eyes and the head. "You can control
peoples gaze by knowing what way to hold your head and angle your
eyes."

I have to admit that it is quite captivating watching him!

a series of dreams

Dream

Dad was in the garden giving a talk about garden design,

There was this chinese student there,

I bumped into a friend in manchester, calling at a random house.. It
was a surprise meeting

"I've a new song I have writen,"

We go for a walk,

"Don't play it here, this is a rough area of manchester"




Dream

I was with the clan. We were spending time with trees. We had to
channel the poetry of the trees into words to perform. Some of us also
needed to cut down trees, so we needed to learn how to ask the trees
to leave. I found sweet cycely, and simon liked it. There was a jewish
ceremonial place at the front of the big house, where it was growing.

Dream

I had been given a new allotment site on rustlings rd. It was a large
double plot.

I met some friends who were building an enormous smoke, a giant 3
meter long thing, enough for the whole city. We had to find the right
way to smoke it.

We had to go and find others to help us smoke it.

I met a lady who said to me, "The cool rain will be fairer to us than
all the gold leaves"

old school reunion

im at a festival in st maires school, my old primary school. like an old reunion.

I meet Nageeb - he has a son now, who he shows to me. I meet francis, and we have a hug and a massage. I Meet Ruthy and Jessica.

Some youth are having a fight around my tent, they all start getting
my sleeping bag and clothes mixed up in their fight, so I go in to
sort it out.

Then they start back on me, and pile on. I'm trying to fight off 4 or
5 of them at once. It all feels like a blurry dream as I have gone
into a trance and cannot feel a thing.

I have this special devise that tells me what I can and can't eat.
Some people are doing wild food walks at the festival.

I am reminded to continue my research into edible roots and edible fruits.

I see Thomas SK, and he is teaching a group of us, and he says,

"I can tell you what you can do because I am tuned in, but as you are
not, you don't know what to do. So you are best listening to me. This
is what its like when you tune in."

I can see that he is just being honest. This goes way back.
-
Anne marie has sent me a text, - she is telling me to meet her
somewhere down in devon to help her do this talk. She says I will like
it, its very shamanic place.

The Witch amd the Grotto of Death

I am chasing this witch, I'm not sure why, but she has a lot of wisdom
I want to find out. she is a curious one. she loves to joke about sex. she refers to sex as "gettin yur meat" - jokes at me about meat, -
"you've had some meat then? (meaning ive had some sex ) An someones ad yur meat too I imagine? " (someones shagged me). This witch wears lots of makeup and, trys to glam her self up to look younger than she is. She wears a red dress.

We enter this ancient maze, - the stones have all been shaped this way
and that, so as to try to lead you one way and another, but some
deeper memory in me tells me I've been here before. And what's more, I
want to catch up with the witch ahead of me. I cut across the winding
path and find myself at the edge of a rocky cliff. Then there is this
spiral path cut into the rock that leads down into the earth. I
follow down as this is where the witch went.

My memories come back to me... The same murky green light, the incense
smells... I enter into the giant chamber. There are a few people who
have been following and they enter behind me.

I hear them catch their breath as they enter.

It has an eerie beauty in here.

There is a amphitheatre with water tricking down in dark channels into
a pool where the stage ought to be. The water trickles over gemstones
that sound like underwater wind chimes, giving the space a surreal
futuristic quality.

There are a couple of islands in between the lake, and a path between
them, and on both of them are some life size sculptures in stone,
which are painted.

One of them is of the spirit of death, yet he seems to have a pale
flesh to him, and looks more like a peaceful zombie than the skeleton
people associate with death.

On the other island was a stone table and all these stone figures
around the table, a family of figures sat down ready to eat a meal.
The figures were carved by Henry more, and they had, like Death, been
painted in.

It was not a spooky place. On the contrary, it was a very peaceful place.

I sat on the edge of this cliff in the dark and listened to the music
of the gemstones. It was hypnotic. This guy comes and sits down beside
me.
"I always dreamed I would come to this place" he whispers to me.

I climb back up away from the edge of the cliff as I am afraid of
slipping and falling into the water. At the back of the cave I see 2
carved skulls, one slightly smaller than the other.

I then realise that this is a grotto to death.

I wander down the amphitheater steps to the edge of the water. The
other family follow. And then we witness an ancient ceremony to honor
the spirit of this place. The stones come alive for a brief moment as
this Green shaft of light penetrates the roof of the cave and
illuminates the stage. The stone family eat some food. Death moves
slowly around. The witch is witnessing all this in the background.

-
We go outside of the grotto now, and we meet these people playing this
game. You can only get 'tug' if you are moving. - some people are are
one team, some on another. And one group is catching, and the other
are playing Stone giants. They need to rescue some one or something.
So they need to move, but it is also strategic.

an inspiring talk

I meet moggy- allotments, we going to play this game of football,
pete, other new rootsy people with me, we watch 3 guys eating bacon
sandwiches, best bits - poor people


Doorways, glass - we moving things as well. meet 2 new people, want to
get involved.

Meet Joe, has ME - he complains about how bad everything is for him. -
in park. Really bad.

Meet conor. He decides he wants to come along.
Music amazing, he does some singing. Totally captivating. Sings a
james brown song to me. Adriano, and fred with me. I play something
back to conor. He like it.

I show him smudging techniques - rosemary, lavender sage, etc. Why
people used to smudge. Conor curious, - the purging is going too fast
for him. He needs to slow down on it, otherwise too full on. Smudging
will help him with transition.

Going to give a talk about growing to this group of people, with this
lady I not met.
This had been arranged for this school group and community allotment group.

After football. - we never get there. I have kept going back to get
things. Pots of pans and such like. But time has run out and I have to
give the talk. This other lady begins. And she begins simply by asking
questions to people , getting them to do the talking.

At first I think she is wasting a lot of our precious time, she seems
like a new age hippy, and I don't think she knows what she is talking
about, (conor has already walked out, this is not the place for him)
but she gets people talking in this special way thinking deeply aboout
why they are here

The questions continue until this little boy mentions ghosts.

"And what do the ghosts want us to do?' I ask him. Everyone is listening
expectantly.

"Use our gifts, strengths and talents to make the world a better place." he answers.


This lady then gets us to talk about how we can do this. Its all a big
facilitation. I spot AM in the crowds. She has been behind this all
along. She knows this lady I'm working with. Its milly jackdaw. And I
can now see ailsa. We have a good hug. Milly is a lot more magical
than I had at first guessed. Alys turns up and we have a good hug. I
chase AM and we have a fun wrestle game.

I went to this hospital, and met this doctor who was a sexual health
doctor, and I showed him this fungal infection on my groin area, and he
told me what to do to heal it. It involved a change of my perspective
around relationships, and a loosening.

I meet imogen, and we have sneeked into this building where they are
having conferences, and we eat lots of tasty food, and leave before we
get found out. We have a good hug.

I meet lizzie, and some friends, and her friends are telling me about
how her diet has to change ,- the damage caused to her gut, means that
she needs different food than most people. Needs a lot of good food,
and nurture to her gut. Nourishing dense foods that are easy to
digest. Plus herbs that will aid digestion.
Smokers place, I show them thing, funny, was a new age healing video,
it turns into song, I'm a believer by the monkeys, but its a new version.. . Meet new people. Friends of
john. We have a smoke together. Met bristol graffiti artists scene.
D.

adams new place

planing a trip, a trip to countryside vans with friends ,
to stay over night in derbishre. we were going to hire a van. Hire a van. Some law
about sleeping in vans on roads is stopping us. We try to find a way
around. I am naked.


Adam has a new place, and has key to it, it was his Uncles. His Uncle sold millions of footballs at a cheeper price than the conventional, so has now bought a new place and given adam the keys to this place.
who uses it? no one at the moment. It is up on hill.

I had a dream where I Met Free canabis in his place in glastonbury, I asked
you what you had been up to, you had been learning about permaculture,
and now you were looking for some place to live in spain, close to the
land, and you were going to go back there to live. I was pleased that
I had got to see you before you went.


Transplanting elecampange root

Jude, - one day more, now its seed time.

Healing with tara, tells me to open one eye.