a strange religious ceremony

My dad had  told that he would meet me here; why wasn't he here and where were all the others?

I was in the entrance hall to some church waiting for my dad to take me to this community event; I was excited because everyone was going to be there and I was going to see my friends, but where was he now?
Why had he said he would meet me, and then not turned up? I waited and waited. After a while I felt that there was no more point waiting and so I took the initiative to have a wander around. My first instinct was to go into the main hall. The church was empty: no one around. I went to the back and found a stair case leading up to a room above the church.
In this room were signs of people: coats and shoes, but still no-one. Again I found another stairway leading a long way up; I could here voices at the top. As I got to the top of the stairs I could here everyone singing, and I could here my dads voice.

Why had my dad left me at the bottom of the stairs? I was really mad when I saw him there and when he saw me coming over to where he was sitting he could see that I was mad. I knew my mum would be somewhere about but for some reason I couldn't see her.

"Why did you forget about me?" I scowled at him in a low voice, to avoid the embarrassing situation of bringing attention of everyone else to my anger I was now expressing. He said he was sorry, and I half forgave him, and looked around to see who was around, and what this community event was all about.

It seemed that this was an important religious ceremony and I could tell that everyone had been here for a long time, due to the feeling in the air. One of my dads friends was leading the ceremony, and, on seeing I had arrived, told me that, as part of this important ceremony, I had to chuck myself, with force, down this enormous flight of stairs. I bit strange, I thought, but what the hell, let's give it a go. If everyone else has done it then I may as well too! The stairs broke up into two flights. The first one was fairly smooth to get down, but the second really took it out of me. I then had to precede back up the stairs to the ceremony. Again I was told I had to hurl myself down the stairs- "we have done this hundreds of times already" I was told.

 Ok, here goes! I throw myself down the stairs, first flight, not so bad, but then on the second flight, something just doesn't feel right. - as I gather momentum I realise that I am doing my body harm. Why on earth should I need to do this to myself, just so that I can be with them there in that upper room? This doesn't feel right. If they have been chucking themselves downstairs all day long, and then running to the top, this would surely do serious damage to the body. I'm not sure I want to go back up the stairs, despite the fact that I have nowhere else to go. Oh, well, I guess ill just sit here and wait again......

Dream landscapes

I was in a place that was like an urban built up landscape with motorways and bridges and high futuristic buildings.

I was traveling to a hotel to meet someone... What a surprise, when i find that its Hugh Fernley Wittingstall ! Hes charting to a client about his latest idea of a show - Insect eating. i told him that i had eaten wood lice which he was very impressed with and then told me some stories from the past of the gruesome meals that people used to eat; left over rotting meat that they could only make edible by adding a sauce that was very sweet and spicy.

Then his three daughters came in, all very young, and he had to go and take them out somewhere, so i left the hotel, and wandered along a strange racing car track tunnel, at which point there was a secret hole in the wall, opened up by a lorry going the wrong way. I went through this new tunnel. and came out in Sheffield, near the Don valley stadium. We were trying to get there to see a race of some sorts, me, Dad and brother Joe, with a friend or two.

We were on our bicycles, and yet this new person who had come along didn't have one, so i had to give Joe a backey. The bike had very wide tires.

We had to go in the opposite direction to the stadium to get there, because of one way streets . "Sheffield is so illogical" we commented, as we progressed slowly on our journey.....

Letting things go

I had begun my trackways course. We were wandering through some woods; i was following a lady who was leading me into the wild. She was the guide.

I had a very heavy pack on my back and it was slowing me down.
Thomas, She told me, was waiting ahead, and she said that if i wanted to follow on this path, i would have to let go of alot of my stuff that i was carrying, because it was holding me back.

I felt that i didn't want to let go of this stuff because i was very attached to it. Yet i knew that it was what i had to do....

barley powered cars!

I was in a car being driven around Sheffield. It was a driving lesson but we were also heading up to get spring water. There was a very strange and surreal light in the air. We drove around Walkley and to the bole hills.

We passed a school and drove up to a car garage to fill up with fuel. The driving instructor got out and preceded to fill up with fuel, - loading shovel loads of barley grain into the car.

He said, "this is the best fuel to run your car on, and you know what, you can even eat it straight outa here if you get hungry, its clean enough!"

We were near Steve's dads place where we get spring water from. I was very excited at the thought of having a car; spring water trips would be easy now!

the art of doing nothing

We are living in a massive house in London Surrounded by a massive park. Its morning and time to go to school. I have made a massive spliff and am just sparking it up, and then Mum calls out in a distressed tone that she needs me, so i put the spliff down, chew on some mint leaves to take out the smell and go over.

"why are you not helping out? there's mess everywhere, and your not doing anything!" she is clearly very annoyed. I take out of my mouth the mint leaves that i have been chewing, and throw them into the garden. They don't reach the garden but land in the yacht that it out the back door.

"Don't throw things around the place like that!" mum yells, "there's enough mess as it is!"

i feel like i have been bombarded by bad vibe, so i go back into my room. What a thing to wake up to!

She then pipes up "you never help out! and I'm so busy all the time and I'm exhausted!"

i reply, " its not my fault that you take on too many jobs and exhaust your self!"

She has been over working and its clear that this is the case.
She now starts thanking me for helping out and i say "what are you thanking me for? i ain't done anything yet!"

I return to my room, - wheres that massive spliff i made? ah yes!

it had side-burned down one side and made a hole halfway down, and almost gone out. I start to make repairs, and in the process a cheesy pop song comes into my head with a really catchy melody for the chorus, with the lyrics - "i ain't done yet"
(see tune I ain't done yet on maxsalad.co.uk. - album braking the ice)

at first i want to forget the song, but then, when i realise that I'm in a dream, i struggle to pick up what pieces i can to write the song down. I hear it being played by a friend of mine, Conor, and all of a sudden it sounds really good.

Releasing anger

I was playing a role in a play. It was quite a lead role that i had chosen to do. i thought that it would suit me.

The rehearsals were in a church hall and the final play was going to be performed in the big cathedral. I had forgotten all about the play, and consequentially missed all of the rehearsals. The date for the play was coming up soon, and the organisers contacted me to remind me that there were no more rehearsals. They told me that if i didn't want to do it, that was ok, since they had got other people to fill in my role during the dress rehearsals .

So the date for the play came up, and my friends from the housing coop group turned up to watch the play. One of my friends called JJ got in a fight outside in the yard, with a really fat guy that was twice his size. He had taken up boxing in the last few weeks and it had kinda gone to his head, so he was convinced that he could take on the fat guy. JJ was also shape shifting with a friend of a friend, called Jon, and between the two of them they were in this fight with this big guy who was at least twice the size of them. It was clear that they were making no difference to this big guy, so they gave up. they asked me if i could step in for them, to protect them, so i did at first, but my efforts were no better. There was no anger coming from this big fat guy though. He seemed to enjoy being attacked, since he knew that it would make little effect. He told me how to really punch, "concentrate all your attention into the knuckle of your middle finger", he said. I became stronger in this play fight, and felt myself releasing stored up anger through this game.

Just before the concert started, Rosa had to leave early, to go and pick up a costume that she had made, and told me that she would not be able to stay for the play, so would say by to me outside. I said "five minutes?", she said, "no less, one minute".

A friend from a long way back turned up for the beginning of the play. He and his very christian friends were taking over the play to turn it into some kind of religious ceremony. This is why Rosa had left, - some how she knew... but i was left feeling "i don't want to take part in this!"
The christian rock singing starts up and it feels like we are the ones they are trying to convert.

Equinox night spent in the Stoney Littleton Long Barrow, Somerset

A bunch of friends from Bristol came over for the day. We went to gather spring water from St juilans spring.

In the evening we wandered up to the long barrow.

My intention was to spend the night: i've been planning on spending a night in the barrow at each quarter point through out the year - solstices and equinoxes.

Here is the dream that i had that night, - pieced together from the notes from my phone.

I was back in my old school. We were playing games in the playground. I remember seeing the girl that i first fell in love with, and i felt the same intense gut feelings of complete bewilderment that one so often feels; that feeling that for me gets closest to what one might call soul feelings. I then saw another of the girls i fell in love with a few years later. We looked at one another in recognition of some soul connection but never spoke a word. We had grown up, and yet we were still in the same situation as it had been; feelings as yet un-communicated.

Next i remember we had gone somewhere new; me, Pete and a bunch of friends were at a concert and Oscar Peterson was playing the piano. It was phenomenal playing, and yet all of a sudden he stopped, and said, "look up there" - we looked and saw a little boy sat at a massive organ way up at the back of the concert room. He started to play this improvised music and Oscar said, "this is what music is about; giving thanks. This is the greatest message in music".

We were now back in school, but things had changed - the first girl had grown up and had become a skilled intuitive. She was giving a talk to a bunch of us. she was life as a ride, and was using a model of a fair ground roller-coaster as a tool to help her. She said - "you have missed out this bit in your model" and she pointed to the really steep straight bit which takes you from the highest point to the lowest point. The model she was pointing at was also a bit like a climbing frame. I remember taking in that bit of info about the missing bit and thinking "this is really important information.